by Chidimma Nwaka
The world is large, I know, and everyone in it has different characters, though with certain similarities. But despite these differences, I sometimes convince myself that most people who claim to be older are still children at heart.
While growing up, I often heard a phrase I have used repeatedly in my previous blogs because my childhood, till now, has been filled with many lessons. My mother taught me how to respect people’s decisions, but life taught me how to set my own boundaries, although sometimes I still allow people to override them.
The reason I am writing this is to enlighten many people who see saying “No” as a grave offence, as though they are entitled to your entire life.
I was in the examination hall, and she sat three benches behind me. We were writing a course that involved formulas, and I had prepared well for the questions. She needed help, but there was no way I could risk my future to help her, so I politely said no.
Little did I know that she kept it in mind. Later, when I asked her for help on behalf of a friend, she brought it up immediately. I wondered how someone could harbor such resentment for so long without feeling burdened by it. I did not take her response to heart; I simply let it go. After all, life does not always have to be a battlefield.
Another month, she asked for help regarding school work and the cost of clearance. I told her I did not know — not because I was unwilling to help, but because prices fluctuate, and I did not want to give inaccurate information and be tagged a liar. Unknown to me, she took that personally too, and till today, she keeps malice with me to the extent that even my mother noticed it.
But I am not bothered. Keeping malice with another human being in your twenties should be considered childish because it says more about you than the other person.
Many people refuse to understand others and instead follow whatever society tells them. Unfortunately, most societal beliefs are fallacies designed to drain people emotionally and mentally. The more you absorb them into your life, the more harmful they become.
Someone telling you “No” does not necessarily mean they are unwilling to help. Even the rich may be carrying heavy burdens while pretending everything is fine before the poor.
Remember, human beings are bound to struggle. No matter how much you have or how careful you are, struggles cling to us like remora fish to a shark. So why carry unnecessary bitterness in your heart when life already comes with enough battles?
Malice only affects you, not the person you think it hurts. It can destroy visions and rob you of opportunities. While striving through life, learn to forgive people, even when they do not apologize to you. You have greater rewards ahead, so do not give interpersonal conflict the power to consume you.
Leave a comment