The self-concept must be let go for one to live optimally


Ozodi Osuji

     The individual’s self-concept, his ideas, and concepts about who he thinks that he is, is a literal prison, a jail house, but he tends to think that it is something that he ought to be proud of.

     The individual’s real self is not conceptual, is part of God’s unified spirit self. God extended to the individual and he is now part of God and God’s other sons. They are not in bodies and do not live in space and time.

     The individual separated from God and other sons of God and formulated his separated self-concept, his ego and houses it in body; body gives him the impression that he is truly separated from God and other sons of God.

     The self-concept is a replacement self, a substitute self that each of us makes to give him the impression that he is not the self that God created him as. God created us as spirit and one with him and now we seem in bodies and live in separated states.

     The entire physical universe of space, time and matter were designed to enable each of us to use them to formulate a separated self-concept (without the self-concept the physical universe does not exist).

      At the individual level, the individual selects aspects of the universe, especially biological aspects that he wants to use to formulate his body; in some cases, as in me, he chooses a body that gives him pain and in feeling pain he feels traumatized and formulates a self-concept that he is extremely alone and apart from other people and apart from God.

     The individual goes through life on earth thinking that he is his self-concept (ego, personality). But in truth he is not his body and self-concept; he is spirit that merely uses body to formulate the dream self-concept, a dream figure he wants to live as to enable him to forget his real self, the unified self.

     Now he must completely let go his belief that he is his body and self-concept. He must let go of identification with body and self-concept; he cannot keep any bit of it for to keep a bit of it is to keep all of it.

      You must say: I am not my body; I am not my ego; I am not my self-concept, I am not my human personality; I am the son of God; the son of God is spirit, not body, I am spirit; spirit is light, I am light.

     To make those affirmations and mean them is to liberate oneself from the prison house of the self-concept and body; I am spirit, I am light.

     Alas, one thinks that one will die if one gives up one’s self-concept and body; no, you live eternally; it is body that seems to die. When you still live in body and let go of the ego separated self-concept you find your body no longer heavy; your body feels light; you experience yourself as a light body. Thereafter, you experience yourself as bodiless, as one shared self with all selves and with the God Self.

      For now, what I am saying is that one is not the self-concept, ego and body and must let them go to live from one’s real self. One’s real self is part of the unified spirit self that we call God.


       To be healed is to give up one’s attachment to the ego and body and accept one’s real self, the spiritual son of God. This requires one to forgive all the evils that other people did to one. In forgiving other people’s evil to one, one simultaneously forgives one’s own evil to other people.

     Giving is receiving. What you give to other people you give to you, because you and other people share oneself. If you give forgiveness to other people, you give you forgiveness; if you refuse to forgive other people you refuse to forgive you; this is because you and other people share oneself.

     You must know yourself as part of other people to affirm your whole self. When one totally forgives all people, one totally forgives oneself and begins seeing oneself in light form, what Hinduism calls the individual’s astral body.

      A course in miracles call this transformation of seeing from seeing us in bodies to seeing us in light forms, Christ vision; forgiveness gives us Christ vision and happy dreams.

    From Christ vision one progresses beyond seeing and knows oneself as one shared self and one shared mind with God and all people. This is experienced in Holy Instant (Hindus call it Samadhi, Buddhists call it Nirvana, Zen calls it Satori).

     But instead of forgiving people and overlooking the world of egos and bodies, we prefer to see ourselves as bodies and egos and feel guilty from separation and project our guilt to our bodies and make them sick and die.

      If one forgives all people hence forgive oneself and no longer believes in separation, one no longer feels guilty (guilt emanates from sense of separation from God) and no longer projects guilt to one’s body, one’s body would become healthy and enable one to use it to love other sons of God in bodies. When one is done doing so one lays down one’s body and transfigures to the world of light forms. Advanced teachers of God, such as Jesus Christ, use their minds to transfigure their bodies to light forms and do not have to physically die.

     This is because body does not exist, it has not existed for a second; it is a dream figure we made and with which we hide our ego separated self-concepts from God; to make us seem apart from God. Forgive all, accept that you are one with all and love all and your body does not have to die but merely transfigure to light body and from it you proceed to the awareness that you are the formless son of God.


       My self-concept is always serious in demeanor; I seldom relax and smell coffee; I am humorless and take my ego and body too seriously. People around me notice that I am humorless and leave me alone and go to those who are lighthearted.

     When I was a child, some other children noticing that I was too somber, rigid and inflexible in my self-concept deliberately made fun of me; my nose is big, and they would call me big nose, and some would compose songs with my name; what they were doing is giving me the feedback that I should not take me too seriously, because the me that I take seriously, the ego and body is nothing and does not even exist, except as in a dream.

      At the time I did not realize that they were trying to get me to change my self-concept, from rigid and grandiose to accepting that the self-concept is a prison house and ought to be let go for one to know freedom. They were trying to save me, but they were making fun of me, attacking me and I responded defensively to them.

     As a young man I really did not have girlfriends. In graduate school I married a woman and we lived for many years. If I have a woman around me, I do not desire other women.

     We got divorced and I had to try to get a girlfriend. At this point I learned how my self-concept played a role in my not having a girlfriend.

     Most girls desire a playful guy, a person with a sense of good humor and makes them laugh and can make a living because in our world we need money to live.

    During this dating period, I met a woman who liked to talk to many men. Initially, I felt that if we became friends, she would cut out talking to other guys, but she did not. I began feeling irritated by her bantering with other men.

     I decided to analyze why I was irritated by her behavior. My irritation at her behavior meant that there is something in me that is complicit in her behavior. The Roman philosopher, Epictetus said that other people cannot make you feel angry, sad, or anxious unless you agree with them. So, I began observing myself to see how I agreed to make me angry from her behavior.

     What I learned is that I am at the deep level feeling like I own her and that therefore she should not relate to other men and do as I want her to do. It means that I am possessive and jealous.

     In other words, her frolicking with other men (she talked with them most nights) enabled me to react the way I did to know that whereas overtly I am not jealous that deep down I am a jealous guy.

     Thus, she is a messenger from God to help teach me about me. Her desire to relate to other men brought out a part of me that I needed to work on and correct.

      It is not for her to change (unless she wants to) but for me to change. She is a mirror and showed me who I am, a guy who feels insecure and wants to own another person to feel secure.

     I do not own anyone and cannot own anyone; if my security depends on pretending to own somebody to make me feel secure, I am never going to be secure.

    The woman was there in my life asking me to heal me. Healing me lies in realizing that I do not own her or anyone else (one does not own one’s wife and children for all those can leave one at any time they want to).

     People are on earth to do what they want to do; I am the same; folks do not need my permission to do whatever they want to do, and I do not need their permission to do what I want to do.

     Thus, what this woman taught me is for me to go heal my underlying insecurity and leave her to live her own life as she pleases, for, she does not need my permission to do whatever she wants to do.

     The most that I can do is leave her (which was what I did). But the lesson she taught me is that I should not take myself too seriously, that I should relax and smell the roses; she helped me learn that I do not own any one and that I am simply a part of life floating through planet earth; I must give up my hitherto misguided egoism and pride that thinks that I am important.

      In ego and body, I am not important, I do not have dignity, all those are make belief. However, in unified spirit we all have worth and perfection, but in egos and bodies we are nothing.

     Our egos and bodies will die, and decay so why should we take them too seriously. The lesson is to see me as not my ego and body and, instead, to  see me as the son of God and see other people as sons of God and know that at the spiritual level we are always joined, are in  love with one another, but at the ego and body level we are separate from love, separate from union and live individual lives.

    On earth we live individual lives; as Fritz Perls, of Gestalt therapy, said, if our paths cross, fine, but neither of us own the other or need permission to be who we are.

     The woman that initially made me feel irritated by her tendency to make herself available to many men (they read her posts at social media and write to her asking her to become their girlfriend; she tells them that she has a boyfriend and they tell her to dump him and come to them; these are poor young men who cannot support her rather expensive life style, some of them want her to support them!).

     The point is that every person we meet is there to help us understand our self-concepts and eventually give them up.

      Salvation lies in letting go of one’s self-concept, ego, and having no self-concept, no ego and living as part of life (God). If one does so one is freed from the bond of living as an ego, body, and lives freely, peacefully, and happily.

      Thus, one must show gratitude to all the people that one encounters, especially to those who made one feel irritated because they showed one what one needs to change to live freely.

    Other people do not save us, only we can save us, but every person helps us to understand our egos and realize that what we need to be saved from is the ego.

      Bless the person that made you angry, sad, or anxious for he is part of your saving circle.


      In childhood one, building on the confluence of a problematic body and social experiences, constructed a grandiose ego separated self-concept and thereafter tries to live as it. That ego self-concept is not real so all attempts made to be it would never bring it to realization; this is because it is unreal; the unreal cannot be realized in real life. The ego is pursued but is never realized.

     Seek and do not get what you seek is the nature of the ego. In the meantime, in trying to be it, one restricts one’s living. In society one fears not living up to one’s goals and shies away from making social contacts, least one is rejected by people; thus, one avoids relating to people hence one ends up mostly alone.

     The desire for the big ego makes the student not learn optimally because he is wasting his psychological energy trying to protect the sham ego from exposure as the nothing it is (accept it as nothing and do not seek it and do not defend it and it goes away).

     The pursuit of the big ego self becomes an end, and, in the meantime, it restricts and limits one’s living. If you stop desiring to be the ego, it is conceptual so one can stop trying to be it at any point in time, its limitations on one’s thinking and behaving disappear and one lives authentically and spontaneously.

     The big self-concept is useless so it must be let go, not even an iota of it should be retained for it serves no positive purpose for one; it only limits one’s behavior, so let it go and no longer waste your time on it.

    The ego always wants you to analyze it forever and ever but to not give it up; so, just let it go and stop talking about it.

     Live as if you have no self, do not defend, and protect any defined sense of self that you think that you have because you do not have a defined separated self; what you are is being a part of one universal life that has infinite unites, and you are one of those units.

    In their true state the units of life are not physical, they are spirit; they are parts of one unified spirit self and its universal mind that people call God.

Ozodi Osuji

June 8, 2022

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