Resolution to be healthy

RESOLUTION TO BE HEALTHY

NOT NORMAL OR NEUROTIC OR PSYCHOTIC

Ozodi Osuji

FROM TODAY ONWARDS I WILL ONLY THINK AND BEHAVE IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY EGO REAL SELF AND, HOPEFULLY, FROM MY CHRIST SELF BUT NOT FROM MY EGO IDEALIZED SELF

      All my life, from the day that I was born, in response to my problematic body I pursued idealized ego and body.

      That pursuit of idealized ego and body is delusional; it is like I wanted to be grandiosely deluded before I accepted me.

     I used the yardsticks of the imaginary ideal self to judge my real self. Of course, I was not going to become the imaginary ideal, perfect self for I am not an imaginary person.

     I so wished to become the ideal self that when other people treated me as if I am not it, I felt angry at them and or withdrew from them, such as not going to my secondary school again because I was not made the valedictorian (I had expected to be publicly recognized as the best graduating student, instead another boy, Patrick, he was very good at Mathematics,  was given that honor).

     From now on, I behave like my ego real self (normal self) and accept my problematic body and not try to escape from it by identifying with an idealized body.

    Hopefully, I can also behave like the Christ self, the loving self, the Holy Spirit directed self, but that self is abstract and not self-evident, and one must not pursue an imaginary godlike self.

    I paid enormous price in anxiety, anger and avoiding people least they reject my imperfect self, feeling anxious in society, not easily making friends, anxious in learning situations, all due to pursuit of the ego ideal (which is what neurosis is all about).

     Pursuit of ego ideal has no positive side to it and there is no reason to seek it.

    In Nigeria, the big cheese pursues powerful ego hence their seeking to be treated as especially important persons, masquerading with bogus titles, all to seem important and powerful to compensate over a self that feels inadequate; pretended superiority is mask over underlying sense of inferiority.

     The grandiose ego is unattainable, for it is unreal and the unreal cannot be attained.

     What matters is to be who I know myself to be, not who I want to become, ego ideal, ideal body etc.

ONLY SEEKING TO BE ONES REAL SELF GIVES ONE REAL MEANING; SEEKING TO BECOME A FALSE, IDEAL SELF GIVES ONE ANXIETY DRIVEN FALSE MEANING.

    Real meaning is obtained from accepting who one is and from loving one’s real self and loving other people’s real selves in an unconditionally positive manner; with no condition posited that must be attained before one love people.

Ozodi Osuji

November 17, 2021

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