Putin’s nightmarish dream


Ozodi Osuji

     I have been depressed all day today; in fact, from last night when I leant that Putin had invaded Ukraine and is getting away with it and the West cannot do anything to stop him, that is, the powerful eat the weak; that earthly reality makes me depressed.

    Let us see it from Putin’s perspective. He is motivated by sense of humiliation, that his Russia was humiliated when its USSR empire fell in 1991 and the West promised Russia not to advance towards its borders but reneged on it and advanced to Russia’s borders, via NATO, and he now wants to repossess Ukraine and thereafter the other USSR republics to make his personal ego and Russia’s national ego feel proud.

     The man wants to reconstitute his nation’s past empire; he is a nationalist, a fascist in the mode of Adolf Hitler. They are two little men feeling inadequate and trying to seem powerful via national territorial conquests.

     Putin is a terrorist; he said that anyone who interferes as he gobbles Ukraine will suffer consequences that they did not dream is possible; that is, he has nuclear weapons to eviscerate the world. He is, in effect, saying, leave me to take Ukraine, and thereafter, Moldova, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Belorussia and the other Ex-Soviet Republics or else I kill you; this is classic behavior of terrorists, threat to kill and show ability to kill by killing someone as Putin is now killing Ukrainians; the man wants to intimidate the entire world into  doing as his autocratic ego wants them to do (Is Biden intimidated by this Russian little thug?).

    He will kill thousands or more people in the process. But it is a dream, for in truth no one is killed; he is having a dream of “I am powerful; Russia is immensely powerful.”

    Americans are having a variant of the same dream; in America’s version, white folks have a dream that they are superior to Black folks.

    All of us are doing the same thing. My dream all my life is to make my ego and body seem important in my eyes and in other people’s eyes. This is what all human beings do, make nothingness, make what does not exist, ego and body seem to exist and have worth and kill each other in the process.

      I do not like the powerful killing the weak. In 1983 when Ronald Reagan landed US troops in Grenada to rescue American student hostages, I felt directly assaulted and angry at him.

     In 1991 when George Bush attacked and took over Iraq, I felt angry and humiliated that the powerful can just go and take over the country of the weak.

    Today, I feel angry at Putin for abusing weak Ukrainians.

     My anger is rooted in my sense of deflation, from the knowledge that the powerful can easily destroy the weak.

    I have been depressed all day from what Putin did. My idealistic ego that wanted to make people seem important, not the nothing that they are, felt deflated.

    I have been depressed all my life; this existential depression is rooted in my awareness that life in body and ego is nothing and does not exist and has no worth and importance; our earthly lives are make-belief.

    I used my imagination to make life in ego and body seem to have worth and the world humiliates that false worth I gave to my ego and body.

    White America humiliated me (humiliated my false importance); this is designed to teach me that what I am trying to make seem to have worth, ego and body, does to have worth.

     Let go of the desire to make the ego seem to have worth and live with worthlessness. In living with worthlessness, I live with reality as it is and know peace and joy.

    Trying to make ego and body seem to have worth and protect that false worth and importance is the nature of our human existential insanity; it is healed when we accept our existential nothingness and unimportance and simply stop trying to make the worthless seem to have worth.

    When the reality of our nothingness is accepted one sees oneself in light form and thereafter experiences formless spirit self in formless unified spirit self, aka God and his heaven.


     The above line of thinking seems esoteric. Nevertheless, it has given me peace of mind, a much-needed respite from the depression I felt all day.

    This weekend, I will put on my worldly hat and write on Putin’s actions from an empirical perspective. One can be spiritual as well as live in the world of the here and now.

Ozodi Osuji

February 24, 2022

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