How do we become loving persons?



Ozodi Osuji

Today is Good Friday. Easter Sunday is two days from today. Easter is the symbol of the day that a son of God who deliberately allowed his ego in body to die, on good Friday and resurrected from the death of living in ego. He resurrected not in body made of matter, but body made of pure light and showed that light body to his disciples.
On this Easter Sunday, each of us must strive to stop identifying with the ego, separated self and, instead, identify with our real self, the unified son of God. If we do so, shown by love for us and all people, we transcend death and see us in light bodies.
It does not matter whether other people resurrect or not, what matters is for one to do so; what matters is that I do it. My goal is to resurrect from the death that living as an ego separated self in body relegated me to.
Easter is resurrection, salvation, redemption, deliverance, and healing from death; to live as ego is to be dead; when one gives up identification with ego separated self and regains awareness of unified spirit self-one is now aware that one is deathless, for in union, we are eternal, permanent, and changeless.
Our true nature is love. But we are not at present living from our true nature. Let me explain. My explanation is rooted in Helen Schucman’s A course in miracles and in my own personal experience on planet earth.


In heaven, eternity we are unified, and joined as one shared self and one shared mind. There is one God; God extended his self to his infinite sons. God and his sons are joined as oneself.
The element that joins them is love. God and his sons, in heaven, are love; that is, they are joined. God is a wave of spiritual light and each of his sons is a particle of that spiritual light; wave and particles are one unified light; thus, correctly speaking, we say that God and his sons are love and light.
In eternity we are love and light. In eternal union of love and light we know only peace and joy; in heaven we know perfect peace and joy, bliss.


In heaven’s sea of tranquility, the idea of individuated power entered. Each son of God wished to become powerful. He cannot do so unless he separates from God and his brothers.
It is impossible for the sons of God to separate from him and from each other; if separation were to occur God and his sons would die. Existence can only exist in the state of perfect union.
Unable to separate from God and from each other, the sons of God, as it were, closed their spiritual eyes and went to sleep (that is, they deliberately forget their unified real self), and dream; in concerted and individuated dreams they now seem separated from each other. In dreams of separation, each son of God satisfies his wish for individuated power, and inequality.
The physical universe of space, time and matter is a place where the unified sons of God come to seem separated from each other.

The pursuit of individuated power and separation is attack on union, attack on love. We attacked love to seem separated from love; to be on earth, in the dream of separated existence, a dream made possible by inventing matter and we now seem to live in body, and by inventing space and time and now we seem to have distance between us and each other and time to get from oneself to another (all these are illusions, for we are still as God created us, unified with him but forget it and dream separated existence) is to be separated from God and love.
To be a human being, animal, tree, any living thing on earth, one is separated from other living things hence not unified and not in love with other living things. When push comes to shove, any of us, animals and trees will put our self-interests ahead of other people’s interests.
To be a human being is to live as the opposite of love, for love is unified, whereas on earth we live in separate states.


On earth, in the dream of separated selves, each of us formulated an ego separated self; we use our body and social experience to invent our separated self-concepts, self- images and personalities. Body and social experience are designed to enable us to formulate different types of ego separated selves.
The ego separated self is the opposite of love, for ego is separation and love are union. The ego is an interference on love. Body is interference on love. Space and time are interference on love. The earth and everything on earth are interferences on love (that is, they are means of making separation seem real).
One’s true self is not the ego; one’s true self is the son of God. The son of God is spirit and is part of God’s Unified Spirit.
While in unified spirit, each son of God sleeps; that is, forgets union, and projects a substitute self, a replacement self he made, the ego separated self into his dream.
Whereas in God the son of God is total love and light, in ego state, in his substitute state he is the opposite of love; the son of God on earth is in separation from God; separation opposes union, opposes love.


If you stop identifying with the ego separated self, remove the ego, body, space, and time from your mental awareness you would remember your true self as a son of God, as perfect love. But few persons want to remove the ego and transcend this world. We came to be ego in body, space, and time.


God takes his son where he thinks that he is at. Currently, we think that we are ego separated selves housed in bodies and living in a place of space and time, on planet earth.
On earth we formulated not only ego substitute selves but also substitute unions. In heaven we live in perfect union; we can only live-in union of sorts; so, on earth we invented a substitute union for us to live in.
We formed egos and formed special love relationships. In special love relationships we do not love as we love in heaven; in heaven to love is to give all of oneself to other people for one knows that they are one and one only gives to oneself; on earth we live with our egos and do not give all of ourselves completely to the persons we supposedly give to.
On earth, in special love relationships we keep something to us as we give to other people because we think that we are apart from other people. In special love relationships we hide ourselves and use some of them to seem to love other people, but this is false love for upon the slightest trouble, we separate from each other and go do our different things.
Egos easily separate from other egos and go seek other egos, people that we would form special love relationships with. We go find people who will tell us that we are beautiful and rich egos, people who admire our bodies and in doing so perpetuate our separation but form a bit of union, albeit troubled union.
In special love relationships folks have attenuated unions; they do not have the perfect peace and joy of perfect union in heaven.
In their imperfect unions they still feel alone hence feel fear, anxiety, depression, paranoia, mania, and other mental disorders.
Wherever we retain a sense of separated self we are prone to fear, anxiety, depression, and paranoia. To be a human being is to be mentally ill, for mental health lies in perfect union with all people and with God.
Mental disorders lie in belief that one is separated from God and other people. On earth each of us wishes for separation and defends his separated ego and body hence is mentally ill.
If we remove the ego personality, we relate to other people in manner that approximates how we relate to each other in heaven, totally giving. We transform our special love relationships to Holy relationships when we allow more love to enter our human relationships.
In Holy relationships one still sees one in body, in separated state but realizes that one is at root one with other people hence feels that what one does to other people one does to oneself hence one does to others only what one wants to do to oneself.
In the poetic terms of A course in miracles, in special relationships the ego guides us; in holy relationships the Holy Spirit guides us. This is true but tends to confuse folks into believing that ego and Holy Spirit are apart from them.
The ego is not a person; it is a pattern of thinking that stresses separated existence; the Holy Spirit is not a person but a pattern of thinking that emphasizes unified existence.
The ego is our left, rational minds that adapt to the exigencies of the separated world; the Holy Spirit is our right, intuitive minds that tell us that other people are one with us hence the need to love other people.
When we live from ego we live in conflict; when we live from the Holy Spirit we live in relative peace, not the perfect peace of formless God but the imperfect peace in the world of forms.
Holy relationships are not ego, neurotic relationships. In neurosis the individual consciously feels alone; he tries to reduce his sense of loneliness by pleasing other people so that they may accept and love him. He pleases other people, and they seem to like him, but this maneuver is not love and does not remove his aloneness for he retains the ego and uses it to please other egos.
In the USA, black folks are aware that many white egos are sadistic egos; therefore, they please white folks so that white egos do not kill them. In doing so they stay alive as neurotic egos (masochistic) and reinforce white people staying alive as neurotic (sadistic) egos. Neurosis and its cowardly behaviors are not a cure for human loneliness.
Therefore, you must not please other people so that they may love you, for that is not real love, but love based on fear of the death of your ego.
In real love there is no fear.


Love is the opposite of fear and fear is the opposite of love; if you feel fear you are in ego, in separation from love; in fear you are not in God.
When you feel total fearlessness you are in God, in love, in union with all selves as one shared self. In real love and fearlessness, you die to the ego separated self and accept your eternal union with God and all his creation and nothing can kill you for your soul is eternal.


When you go from ego special love to Holy Spirit (remember that ego and Holy Spirit are metaphors, not persons) directed holy relationships and relate to all people with near perfect love, all people know it. All people know what is in your mind, as you know what is in all people’s minds. But we mask this awareness for to accept that we know what other people are thinking is to know that separation is false.
In heaven we know what all people are thinking and immediately respond to them; the ego and separation is an attempt to tell us that we hide from each other, that other people do not know what we are thinking and that we do not know what they are thinking and this way we think that we can screw other people and they would not know it.
Those you are screwing know it. At a deeper level we know what other people plan for us. Black people, at a deeper level, know that many white people hate them, and white people know that many black people hate them; hence we live in a situation of mutual hate, and are afraid of each other; we live in insecurity.
If you decide to return to real love, forgive what other people did wrong to you, love all people, other people will know that you have no ill intention towards them and they would have no ill intentions towards you, you will feel safe around people and they would feel safe around you.
Forgiveness is rooted in the awareness that our world is a dream and that what is done in dreams have not been done; despite the evil we do to each other we remain as God created us, innocent.
Try it, love you, love other people and have no plans to harm people and people will in their ego states feel safe around you.
In fact, if you truly return to pure love all people will rally around you and give you, unasked for, what you need to live well on earth.
God’s teachers, lovers are given all the money and material things they need to live well with on earth. They have transcended hate and the scarcity principle that egos have; they are now living in abundance; all people give to them as they give love to all people.


In childhood, to cope with my medical issues that made me feel inadequate I invented a grandiose ego self-concept; I desire superiority to other people; in my ego state, for example, I see all white persons as animals without souls and have no use for them. They know that I see them as rubbish. Since I have no love for them, clearly, I invite them to be defensive around me, hence they have no love for me and closed their doors for me.
White institutions denied me jobs and that made me angry until I realized that I really do not want to work in white institutions since I consider them garbage and feel degraded being around them.
My avoidance of people enabled me to go retain a grandiose ego; that is, social avoidance enabled me to avoid love, to avoid returning to perfect love; avoidant personality and behaviors enabled me to retain my ego and sense of separation from people and God.
Every person has an ego and does what I did in his or her own ways; each of us use his ego to separatee from God.
J has a dictatorial ego; she is white but hangs around black people but feels superior to them and upon the slightest problem she kicks her imaginary black servants out, as racists kick out black folks; because she is into ego power tripping, she gives herself numerous bodily illnesses; the ego destroys itself by avoiding love; unless she transcends her ego and returns to love she will die from stroke and or heart attack (all death is self-induced).
JA wanted a big ego but in a female manner; she pursued grandiose but passive ego and did not love anyone; she did not love her husband or her children. She pretended to be a religionist. She was on a self-destructive path for any attempt to not love brings folks death. JA died from a dreadful disease.
My own pursuit of a grandiose ego and avoidance of love brought me assorted medical issues and to the extent that I return to love I transcend those medical issues, but if I keep my big ego I will die and return to planet earth to begin where I stopped and try, again, to be a loving person.


I am not a loving person. I do not love my real self, the son of God, the Christ in me. Instead, I rejected my real self, the son of God, Christ, Buddha, Chi in me and pursued a grandiose ego.
To pursue the ego, grandiose or humble, is to not love oneself and other people. I do not love me and other people.
I expected my female partners to become perfect before I could love them. Since they are not perfect, I did not love them. The pursuit of the neurotic ego of perfection led to me not loving my spouse. My spouse was doing what I was doing, so we had conflict ridden special relationships.
This situation does not call for moralization or blaming other persons or blaming me. As Epictetus said, to blame other people for one’s problems is to be immature, to blame oneself is to begin one’s education, to blame neither other people nor oneself is to complete one’s education.
Each of us formed a special ego, personality in childhood. His personality attracts other personalities, and they dance their special relationships dance where there is no love, where they deny their real selves and relate from their egos to each other.
If you deny your real self you live in conflict; the real self is against the false ego self, so you know no peace.
Your problematic ego and problematic special relationships enable you see the loveless dance you are dancing. The lesson is learned when you discard identification with the ego and reclaim your true self, the son of God, and thus love you and love all people.
What is real love? Remove the ego and you know what real love is.
At present, each of us tries to relate to other people from his ego; depending on whether our egos are grandiose or humble we have troubled or less troubled human relationships.
One must observe one’s ego type, one’s personality and one’s pattern of relating to oneself and to other people and work on it.
Ultimately, one must relate to oneself not as an ego and must relate to other people not as egos; when one does so one relates to people from love and experience peace and joy.


In ego we left our real selves, and like the prodigal son went to a foreign land to try living as the opposite of our true self, unified son of God, Christ. While away from home, we fail and then learn that the ego is not who we are and return to love; the prodigal son returns to love, to his father and in doing so know peace and joy.
One must not feel guilty and sinful when one behaves as ego; one should just remember that one is innocent in one’s true self, love, unified state and remove the ego and embrace one’s innocence by loving all people and thus correct the ego and its special relationships and return to Holy Relationships.
Living in holy relationships begins in ego-body and on earth and proceeds to the next world, the world of light forms where one sees oneself in light form and sees all people in light forms.
One ends one’s journey away from one’s true self when one returns to formless unified self in heaven, and experience perfect peace.
When one knows that one is one with all people and God and in it experience total peace one is saved, redeemed, resurrected from the death of living as ego separated self.
The earth, the world of light forms, unified state in heaven are states of mind, not places; each is manifested for us to experience when we behave according to its criteria.
Change your mind and return to perfect love and you experience perfect love, aka heaven and its eternity.
On this Easter weekend and on Easter Sunday one must strive to give up the separated ego and return to the unified Christ, to one’s status as part of God’s unified self and in it feel eternal, permanent, and changeless and live-in peace and joy.

Ozodi Osuji
April 2, 2021

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