I LIVED PURSUING INSANITY BY SEEKING EGO IDEAL; NOW I LIVE SANE BY NOT SEEKING EGO IDEAL
While our attentions are currently reverted to the war in Ukraine, existential issues are still there; see if you can understand the below vignette. The ego invents distractions, such as wars, to get our minds occupied by them and forget trying to awaken from the sleep of self-forgetfulness and return to the awareness of God (oneness).
I lived seeking to be insane. This was because what is, my body, people’s bodies, social institutions and the world of nature, was not good enough for me; I used my mind to seek ideal forms of them. I lived to pursue my mental images of how me, people and the world should be.
I identified with the ideal self and sought acceptance of it by other people; I feared my ideal self not been acknowledged by other people and had anger when other people did not treat it as if it is important; thus, I lived in perpetual fear and anger.
To live in fear and anger is to be insane. And all these were because I was seeking ego ideal. Now, I accept me and people as they are, imperfect, not as they should be, perfect; the pursuit of perfection is neurosis.
By accepting me and people as they are I live in peace and have no fear and anger, just peace; peace is the definition of sanity.
This universe itself is an insane place. It came into being because of our pursuit of separated ego ideal. God created us as ideas in his mind. We are infinite selves in the self and mind of God. We are formless and unified spirit selves.
As ideas of parts in the idea of a whole called God we are not in forms; in the idea level we are eternal, permanent, formless, and changeless.
We wanted to see ourselves in forms and to seem separated from each other. We invented the physical universe of space, time and matter and used matter and energy to construct forms, construct bodies for each of us and in our bodies now seem separated from other selves.
Seeing ourselves in imperfect bodies we use our minds to wish for perfect bodies hence pursue the ego ideal that I did and know no peace and calmness.
The universe is an insane place; one makes it even more insane for one by seeking a personal perfect self.
One returns to sanity in three steps. First, one must accept oneself and the physical universe as it is, as we made it. Second, one studies one’s body and the universe with the scientific method and understands them on their terms. Third, one realizes that the physical universe of space, time and matter and our bodies do not exist, are dream things in our minds, and one lets go of the wish for the dream of separation, stop defending the ego separated self in body and see the physical universe and our bodies disappear from one’s awareness and one experiences one’s self as who God created one as, part of God’s unified spirit self.
This is what happens to enlightened persons like Gautama Buddha and Jesus Christ and what each of us must eventually experience; each of us must return to living from his real self, unified spirit, not in physical form, not in the universe of space and time.
The universe will last until all sons of God, one at a time, returns to the awareness of his real self, a self not in form, not in body, not in space, time and matter, but a self in formless God. In formless, eternal God you are in perfect peace, a type of peace that our current ego mentation cannot comprehend.
If you understand this little essay, congratulations, you are nearing awakening from the sleep-dream called life on earth; enlightenment and illumination is in your sight; this is not the case for most people in this lifetime. In this lifetime most people are sound asleep and have forgotten their real selves, unified spirit self.
March 5, 2022