RESPONDING WITH THE EGO OR THE HOLY SPIRIT
An elderly Nigerian woman, visiting with her daughter, a doctor, called and said that her daughter is terribly busy and asked if I could give her a ride to a pharmacy to pick up her medications. I figured that it would be done within an hour and said yes. I got to her place and picked her up. We went to Walgreens Pharmacy, and she said that I should go through the drive through lane because it is faster. I did. It took about fifteen minutes to get to the window.
A young East Asian girl asked her for her name. She gave a number and she looked at her computer screen and asked, are you R (her name) and she said yes. She said that she would be right back. A few minutes later she came back with a tall Caucasian female. The tall lady looked some more at their computer and said that she could not find a prescription for her and asked her if she is sure that she has a prescription, and she said yes and said that they called her more than two times to come pick up her medications.
The lady got a young black man with an African accent. He asked my friend the name of the medication she is here to pick up and she said that she does not remember the name. This young man’s voice became rude and disrespectful.
At that point I asked what the matter is and without acknowledging my presence he said, you are obstructing other cars behind you, please move your car. I asked, move it to where, since I am by the pickup window and moving would mean leaving our turn to pick her medication up. He said just move away and may be come back and let us search and see if she, in fact, has prescription or not. I said but the lady said that you folks called her.
He then commanded me to move, or he would call the security. He had done what no human being is allowed to do to me, command me.
I said go ahead call security guards. The lady in my car piped in and said, Dr. Osuji let us go, that young man is rude, and I do not like dealing with him; in fact, I did not want to go inside the store because I did not want to see him; I thought that a clerical person would just give me my prescription without hazzle.
I drove out of the drive through lane and was in a furious mood. I drove a bit and the lady asked me to take her to a store and I said, why not and did. I parked the car and we walked into the store. While she was going about doing her shopping, I called the store, and told the person who picked up the phone that I wanted to talk to the manager. She said, let me connect you, then came back and asked me what this is all about and I said that I have a complaint about my dealing with the pharmacy, and she said, hang on, I will get someone to come talk to you.
I was kept waiting for over 30 minutes; the lady that I brought to the store said that I should take her home and asked me to let the matter drop, that if I filed a complaint that it could get the young man into trouble and that she does not want that to happen.
I dropped her off at her home and, on my way home reviewed the matter in my head and concluded that my ego wanted to punish the young pharmacist for his disrespectful behavior and that my right mind, the Holy Spirit, as represented by the elderly woman, asked me to forgive him.
What does a course in miracles teach? It says that the world is my dream and that every person in it is a dream figure in my dream, that I projected a role to each person to act for me. It says that I made this man act disrespectfully to me to offer me the opportunity to react as an ego or to react with forgiveness and love.
Moreover, he is me projected out and what he did to me I did to me. I hated me and projected out a man who seem to have hated me and I wanted to punish him in lieu of my desire to punish me.
When we separated from God, we felt guilty for doing so and feel that God would punish us and hide that guilt and fear in our unconscious minds and project it to other people and have them punish us because we think that we did something wrong and ought to be punished hence we find folks who would punish us. I asked this African to disrespect me, in lieu of punishing me for my guilt of separating from my real self, the son of God and God.
This young African man, in turn, separated from his real self, son of God and identified with ego and feels guilty for hating his real self. He projected his self-hatred to me, an African, and obviously did not respect me and the elderly lady in my car, and my ego wanted to get him fired from his job to punish him.
The Holy Spirit said that if I punish him, since he is me, I am punishing me and therefore I should forgive him to forgive me.
In forgiving him, my ego said that I am reinforcing his disrespectful behavior and that I ought to teach him a lesson on respecting people.
In Nigeria medical personnel keep people waiting, acting their egos bigmanism; you could be kept waiting all day long just to get medication prescription given to you by a pharmacy. The medical workers have no regard for the people and keep them waiting, as if their time has no value.
My anger at Nigerians for not been professional bubbled to the surface and I wanted to punish this very unprofessional African (in my perception he is a jungle boy, and I felt that I ought to civilize him by teaching him ethical and professional behavior; I wanted to teach him to respect his clients in America and in Africa).
The Holy Spirit says that what matters is my peace of mind and that I should forgive him to forgive me to know peace.
I should leave him to keep on being an arrogant ego and disrespecting people, until someone slaps his hands, but it does not have to be me who slaps him around, as my ego wanted to do to him.
In the past my ego would not rest until he is punished to show him that he is a rat, and I am powerful. I was a total egotist and if you disrespected me, I felt rage at you and defended my ego by punishing you. When I was a boss at work, I had fired folks from their jobs who disrespected me.
Those living from the Holy Spirit practice forgiveness hence have peace; those who pursue grandiose egos, proud folks, like I was, feel anger when their vain egos are slighted, they live in conflict, intrapsychic and interpersonal conflicts.
I let the matter drop and chuck it off as an example on how the ego and Holy Spirit respond to incidences that appear disrespectful to us.
January 12, 2022