ACCEPT YOUR BODILY REALITY IN AN UNCONDITIONALLY POSITIVE MANNER
There are billions of people on planet earth; each of them inherited a specific and unique body. The body one inherited interacts with one’s physical and social environments and shapes one’s self concept, self-image and personality.
Given one’s body one cannot be somebody else. But everywhere society and people ask folks to be like other people. They select an extraverted, outgoing person and present him as a social model and bid every person to be like him, but not every body can be like him, nor is he even better than those that people are supposed to be like him.
You are unique and no matter what you do you cannot be another person. Therefore, you might as well stop trying to be like somebody else and accept the self that you know that you are for that is who nature made you and that you will be despite your mental decision to be like somebody else.
I inherited a very weak body (Cytochrome C Oxidase Deficiency, Spondylolysis and Mitral Valve Prolapse and other genetic issues, such as acute sensitivity to electronic equipment such as the computer that I am typing unto, smart phones, televisions, they all leave awful smell in my mouth and nose).
That weak body disposes me to develop an escapist lifestyle, I am always trying to escape from noxious situations.
Physical exertion makes my body easily tired, and it seeks rest. Thus, I am always escaping from physical activities. All my behaviors reflect this desire to escape, I write and type amazingly fast showing that I want to get the writing done, quickly and get away from writing.
At elementary school I was always looking for opportunity to withdraw from physical play and work and go lie down and rest. That is, I seek escape from vigorous activities. That is my nature.
Seeking escape from physical activities naturally led to my seeking mental escape from activities that could task my fragile body. Thus, I am idealistic.
An idealistic person uses his mind to construct an ideal self, ideal body, ideal society, ideal work situation and ideal everything and tries to be like the ideal he identifies. Except that the ideal is imaginary and not real.
If one lives in body, one’s body cannot become ideal and perfect so one must live with it. In the meantime, one can understand that one’s weak body is what led one to seek ideals and then one desists from seeking ideals and, instead, ask oneself what is it that given one’s weak body that one can do and do it well.
Every person can do something and do it well. You do not have to escape to seeking ego ideal, body ideal or spiritual ideal, for all those are not going to happen in this universe of space, time and matter. One must instead try to understand one’s body and accept the limits it sets to what one can do.
Make the most of what your body disposes you to do and stop using your imagination to try to be better than your body.
Imagination is useful but it does not change your body. In this lifetime you are going to be your body and must accept its limitations and stop wishing that it is as sturdy as those with athletic bodies, for it is not going to happen.
Do not ever posit ideal standards of behavior and use them to judge you and people and say that no one lives up to them and therefore conclude that you and people are not good and look down on you and people.
BE A HAPPY LOSER IN PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES
Be satisfied with being a loser in physical activities and identify what you can do, what you can win at and train for it and do it and be content with it and stop wishing to be like other persons who are successful in other things. You can only be successful in certain things, not in all things.
A REALISTIC PSYCHOLOGY TEACHES PEOPLE TO KNOW AND ACCEPT THEIR BODIES
A realistic psychology teaches you to accept who you are in body, not one that asks you to be like an imaginary ideal person for such person does not exist in the real world.
Western Psychology became useless because it is not teaching the specific individual to be his realistic self but keeps telling people to be like an imaginary healthy person.
One must become a proud failure in society; yes, you heard me correctly; society urges people to become successful people and uses what it construes as success as a role model.
Americans, for example, take the athletic, extraverted businessperson who makes billions of dollars as their ideal person but not every person can be that way; nor should every person be that way.
Look at financially successful Americans like Donald Trump, are they successful? Many of them have arrested emotional development, yet they are presented as social ideals.
Look at university professors who are supposed to be successful intellectuals. Most of them are moral cowards and lack in ability to speak the truth; they mostly play it safe to survive. Are these moral cretins role models? They are not even alive, no wonder most of them are alcoholics.
YOU MUST SAY WHAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE TO BE ALIVE
To be truly alive you must be able to speak your mind, say things as you see them and not worry about other people’s approval, for you are not other people.
One must have the courage to be oneself and give up the cowardice of trying to be like other people. My colleagues are courageous people not cowardly persons.
A good psychotherapist is a person who has accepted his self as he is, accepted his body, race and gender and is not trying to be like other people, and encourages other people to accept themselves as they are; he tells people not to aspire to be like other persons.
My approach to psychology and psychotherapy is biological and sociological, with a measure of spirituality, but no escape into wooly spirituality that cannot be translated to the exigencies of this world.
As I see it, the individual’s inherited body determines 90% of his manner of thinking and behaving; he behaves within the context of body and society; he is influenced by people hence the need for biosocial psychology to understand the individual.
The totality of what is going on in every part of the individual’s body, not just his brain and nervous system work to influence how his mind works, healthy or problematic. Weak persons tend to seek ideals and identify with ideals and in the process become deluded to the extent that they accept the ideal, which is not the real, as who they are.
THE FAILING OF WESTERN PSYCHOLOGY
Western psychology is a failure largely because it focuses only on the brain and tries to explain the individual’s thinking and behaving pattern only from what is going on in his brain; no, what is going on in all parts of his body makes the individual’s brain to think in a certain manner.
My escapist pattern of thinking and behaving is obviously done in my brain, but it is a response to events in all cells in my body where mitochondria is found.
When the individual is unconditionally, positively self-accepting, he is calm and lives peacefully and happily; he models self-acceptance and those around him accept their selves in an unconditionally positive manner.
When Carl Rogers talked about unconditional positive self-acceptance he was not talking about your behavior. If your behavior affects other people negatively, they will defend themselves which includes attacking you. He was talking about accepting your body as it is, and you not seeking to be like somebody else because you are not somebody else.
He was asking you to accept other people’s bodies and selves as they are but was not asking you to tolerate their antisocial behaviors; if you behaved antisocially, he would be the first to put you in jail.
Do not set yourself up as a judge and jury judging and condemning other people’s behaviors, relative to your standards, as not good; such behavior means that you are playing God; you are not God so let people be who they are.
Accept your body and what it makes you do in an unconditionally positive manner. Do work that your body can tolerate not ones that are calculated to make you seem like other people. You are not other people. Your body is unique and can only do certain things well, not all things.
Do not judge yourself with social morality that does not serve your physical reality well. Do not use your mind and imagination to create and posit an ideal you and people and strive to become that ideal human being and claiming to be it, for that claim is what delusion disorder is.
To be deluded is to claim to be who you are not, perfect and superior to imperfect human beings. You and all people are imperfect; you must have the courage to live as your imperfect body and self.
November 10, 2021