HOW I MADE ME SICK AND HEALED ME
God created me; God is my causation; I am the effect of God. I sought to deprive God of his causation by telling me that I created me.
I separated from God, thus denying his causation of me. I invented the ego separated self as a replacement self and used it to substitute for the holy self that God created me as (holy means that one is part of a whole, unified spirit self, aka God).
I feel guilty for this action, the appropriation of God’s role in my life (which made me deluded, for it denied reality).
I project my guilt to the body I made to protect my separated self. I made my body sick. This is existential, done before I was born on earth.
Now feeling physically sick (from my birth, for this whole thing began from the moment I was born on earth, this lifetime) I accuse my body of making me sick, and accuse other bodies of making me sick, or the environment of making me sick. I feel angry at all people for making me sick. I am now fighting with the world and know no peace and happiness.
I feel angry at my body and at other people for making me sick and additionally feel angry at white folks for denying me jobs.
I must accept that I did all these things, separation, invention of my body, making my body sick, by projecting my existential guilt to it, and making white folks discriminate against me (done in my dream, not reality).
Having accepted that I did it all to me I use a different part of my mind, The Holy Spirit to undo what I did with my ego separated mind, by seeing that I did it all in a dream and dreams have no effect.
My invention of the ego and body are causeless, for whereas the ego and body are my inventions they are not real, just dream figures, so in truth I caused nothing to come into being.
If dreams have no effect, then I did not separate from God, did not feel guilty, did not project my guilt to my body, do not have a sick body, white people only did what I asked them to do to me and since it was in a dream, they did nothing good or bad to me.
I accept that God is my creator and give up the delusion of self-creation, give up the ego and belief in body.
I now feel innocent and see all people as innocent for they did nothing to me and I did nothing to me, both black and white people are innocent.
I proceed to live according to a healed dream; that is, transform my special love and special hate relationships with people, to Holy Relationships; in the past I accused people of doing bad stuff to me; now I live in Holy Relationships with all people where I love all of them and when they do wrong to me I know that I did wrong to me through them and since it was done in a dream I did no wrong and they did no wrong, so I live as an innocent son of God and see all people as innocent sons of God.
I no longer have guilt or fear for now that I know that I made my body and people in my dreams that harmed me and I have stopped doing so, there is nothing to fear in God.
I live a new view of life on earth, the Holy Spirit directed lifestyle, aka living from Christ mind, living from love and forgiveness, living in peace and joy and teaching it via modeling it.
November 30, 2021
The above piece is a translation into my language of what I just read in A course in miracles, pages 509-512. It is called reversing effect and cause.
I thought that you might like the below quote from Germany’s foremost Poet, Goethe.
“At the moment of commitment, the entire universe conspires to assist you.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe