Saturday, 28 October 2017 07:05

Self-doubt emanates from inability to decide for God or ego

Written by 


Ozodi Thomas Osuji


Here is a test to see if you have self-doubt. If you are typing do you look at the key board? If the answer is no then you have good self-confidence and do not self-doubt but if you do look at the key board you have self-doubt.

Now do this: do not look at the key board and simply type away. You will find that your level of mistakes would be about the same or fewer than when you looked at the key board!  This means that you could type without looking at the key board; it is self-doubt that prevents you from taking your mind away from the computer key board!

I used to always look at the key board when I typed until I decided to not look at it and found that I did not make more mistakes looking away from it than I did looking at it. This test is therefore based on empirical observation and has 100% accuracy. Try it.


Self-doubt exists when the individual does not have self-confidence and cannot make up his mind to go do something that he knows that he is actually able to do. Such persons are paralyzed and immobilized by fear of this or fear of that. They simply cannot trust themselves and believe that they can get things done and go do them; instead, they ruminate about their ability to do things.


People who have self-doubt generally have fear and anxiety issues. It would seem that fear and anxiety is what prevents them from developing good self-esteem and self-confidence. But what is the cause of their fear and anxiety?


Why do some people have self-doubt?  The answer may surprise you. People have self-doubt because they want to have big egos; folks have self-doubt because they chase after false, grandiose egos.  Self-doubt serves a function for folks; it enables them to protect their false big self.


The false big ego is an attempt to not have a loving self; self-doubt is an effort not to love ones real self, love other people's real selves and not to love God.

Self-doubt is lack of love for God and his creation.  I bet that this is not what you were expecting to be told is the reason for self-doubt; your ego was probably expecting me to pity the person who has self-doubt, to say:  poor him and have sympathy for him and seek ways to help him overcome his self-doubt.

The ego likes to be pitied and sympathized with; the ego wants you to have compassion for it; the ego plays the victim role and wants you to pity and help it; as long as you see the ego as a victim and pity it you are its friend.

Alas, as long as you pity the ego it is not going to be let go. To let the ego go you must accept that the ego is evil; the ego is what religious folks call the devil or Satan.

The ego is the opposite of love; the ego is the opposite of God; you must see it in this correct light and choose to let it go.

Self-doubt, I am telling you, is a choice you made; you chose it because you want to retain your false grandiose ego.

Since the ego is the opposite of Christ (Christ is your real self; Christ is love) you are in opposition to Christ; you oppose love.

When you oppose Christ you have opposed his father, God. God is love to oppose God is to oppose love.  The ego is opposition to love.

To choose ego is a desire to experience the opposite of love and opposite of God.  You have self-doubt because you oppose love and oppose God; you have self-doubt because you want to be the ego, the opposite of God.

If you love you, love all people and love God you would not have self-doubt and would not have an ego.

If you have self-doubt, and you are married, you do not love your wife or husband; you do not love your children; you do not have friends because you not love people.

Self-doubt is an attempt to not love any one; it is a subconscious effort to remain wishy-washy, fence sitting and not commit to love.

You must commit to love and love all people no matter what but you keep vacillating about love hence have self-doubt.


To heal your self-doubt you must commit to loving you, loving people and loving God all the time, there is no exception to this general rule.

You are love and must love all to be your true self. God is love so you must love to return to God. To be in the presence of God you must love.  No unloving person ever comes to God.

If you do not feel the presence of God in your life you are not a loving person; the only way you know that God is in your life is if you love him and his creation.

You believe that you have an option in the matter; you believe that it is up to you to decide when to love and when not to love.

You do not have that choice; you must love at all times to be mentally healthy and be rational. You are love so you must love; you must stop opposing yourself by opposing love.


We hear a lot of talk about love. So we rightly ask: what exactly is love?

Love is union; ego is separation. To love is to be in union with the person you love. To love is to be connected to the person you love. To love is to join the person you love.

The ego is the wish to separate from other people, separate from God and separate from your real self (our real self is the son of God who is unified with God; he is part of unified spirit self).


In our real home, heaven, eternity all is united as one shared self with one shared mind. Then the idea of separation entered the minds of God's children. We are part of God and each other and cannot separate from him and each other. What we cannot do in reality we dream about. Our ego and its world is the dream of separated living.

It is the choice to be separated from God and his creation that led us, those on earth, to separate from God and invent the illusory world of space, time and matter we now seem to live in.

We are in the world of separated things because we chose to be separated from God and his creation.

The ego is the self we invented to adapt to the world of separation with. Our real selves are always in God as part of unified self; while in that unified state we sleep and dream and in our dreams project out the selves we see on earth, selves in bodies that walk in space and time.

To love is to be in union with God and all his creation. Since you are already on earth, in the place of separation and had used matter to construct a body for you to make you seem separated from other people and from God, you now have to use your ego and body to love all people in egos and bodies.


Matter is an illusion, it does not exist. That is to say that your body, which is made of matter, does not exist. You do not live in body, flesh, you are always in unified spirit but at the moment you have the illusion that you are in body and that you live in space and time; space and time do not exist but you make them seem to exist.

We collectively make space seem expanding so as to separate us from other people but we are entangled with all people so no matter how far away they are from us they are still part of us; we are responding to them and them to us.

To return to love, to unified state you must stop wishing separation and return to union; that is, you must give up the ego and accept you as God created you; God created you as one with him and all his creation.


Our true self is Christ; Christ is the self that knows that he is one with God and all his creation and knows that God is love and that he is love and love God and loves all people.

On earth this means that since you find yourself in body, space and time, albeit illusory, now use your illusory body to love all the other illusory bodies in space and time. The other people you see are children of God who are deluded in believing that they are separated from you and God.


God is love and his creations are love; God wills that his children love like him. No one can disobey the will of God although we can dream ability to do so.

It is a requirement that we love one another. You do not have a choice not to love (your choice is only in a dream and not really a choice although you may seem to choose the opposite of love and experience pain).

You must love all to be a son of God and return to health. To hate any son of God is to be mentally unhealthy.


White racists are in opposition to love, to God. They believe that they can choose to hate some sons of God. Now, look at them; what do you see? You see people in psychological and physical pain pretending to be happy. Their seeming happiness is propped up by drugs, legal and illegal.

Look at Donald Trump the racist in chief. What do you see? You see a sub-human being thinking that being the president of the United States of America makes people see him as other than he is garbage.

Is there any non-racist person in this world who sees Trump as a human being? He is a sub human being, literally, not figuratively; in the future folks would wonder what came over Americans and made them to elect this piece of shit as their president.

The piece of shit does not know that his body is animal body and that what makes him a person is the capacity to love all people; without love we are nothing.


Self-doubt results from the choice to separate from God and house one's self in an illusory body and live in an illusory place called space and time.

Body, matter, space and time seem real to us; they are as real as the world we see in dreams; dreams seem real to dreamers.

The world of space, time and matter and our bodies are literally, not figuratively not existent. We do not have the power to destroy what God made us as.

God created us as spirit selves. We merely hide that fact in seeming body in space and time. If you return to love you will know that you are spirit, not body.

You do so by overlooking the world of space, time and matter, and by overlooking your ego and body and other people's egos and bodies. When you overlook your and peoples egos and bodies you will know that those do not exist.

All the time that you saw you as in body living in space and time you were always in spirit; the same goes for all people.

No human being has the power to change the self-God created him as. God created him as part of his unified spirit self and unified mind and so he remains eternally.

But he has the illusory power to seem to have separated from God and now house his self in body and live in space and time; he can dream as his replacement self and live in a substitute world and defend them.

When he stops defending his ego, body and the world of space and time he experiences his real self as unified self. In that experience he knows his self as a point of light in a sea of light.

Upon that experience he laughs at the outrageous belief that he could ever have lived in a body that would die.

Our bodies would die, rot and smell like feces. Only a mad man would like to live in such a body and pretend that it has worth. God is not mad so he did not create the bodies we live in.

Body is literally disguised shit; it is also disguised light and disguised spirit. Where you currently see people in bodies is only spirit; where you see our physical universe is unified spirit (wave of spiritual light).


In Self-doubt one doubts whether one is a son of God, is a part of unified spirit or is mere flesh in space and time; self-doubt is the inability to ascertain whether one is Christ or ego, love or hate, in heaven or on earth.

Now you have been informed that you are always the son of God, Christ and are always in how he created you, unified with him and all people. Then believe it and overlook the world of egos, bodies and space and time and see what happens.

You would experience the you and world as God created them: unified consciousness, unified wave of spiritual light that is everywhere and you are an inseparable part of it.

In that experience you have no more doubt of your true identity. After the experience you return to the world of bodies and egos, space and time and do what I am doing here, teach with authority about our true identity; self-doubt is now gone from your mind for you know who you are: a son of God; you are a holy, innocent, guiltless and sinless son of God.


Our real selves are holy for we have not done what we thought that we did, separate from God and live on earth; we do not have the power to separate from God and remake us into body, dust; we merely dreamed that we have done so; what we dreamed have not been done; our dream took place in our mind.

The physical universe is literally our collective thinking projected out; it is our thoughts represented in images and pictures and given false solidity to make it seem real.


We have not committed the sins we see us and other people commit on earth, in the dream; what is done in dreams have not been done. We remain as God created us, unified with him; we cannot separate from God and cannot do what we see separated people on earth do. We remain unified with God hence innocent, guiltless and innocent.

The physical universe we see people living in is literally in our minds (in my mind, in your mind and in our collective minds); we wished it and projected it out and it seems real to us; it will seem real to us for as long as we wish it.

Those who wish it, especially white folk, take it seriously and study it on its terms hence are very good at science and technology.

If you do not wish the physical universe and do not defend it you would see it literally disappear into the mist from which you conjured it out.

My preference is to be in the dream, study it scientifically and use technology to master it, that is, play with the universe for a while, and when we are tired of playing with it we awaken from it and let it go. We return to the awareness that we are always as God created us: part of his unified spirit self; we have never left God and his unified state, heaven; while in him, in the state of union, we made ourselves seem to doze off and dream our world of separation, space, time and matter.

The prodigal son returns home to his unified state and his dream of independence and separation from his father and siblings is then over.


There are two options available to us: to choose this world as real or to choose God as real. The atheistic scientist says that this world is real and that there is no God. He devotes his time and energy to studying this world trying to understand it and make the most of it through technology. He is fully in this world; he has embraced the world totally. As he believes is done for him; thus he is doing fine in the world of separation.

Christian Gnosticism says that this world is nothing; it says that the world is a dream and people in bodies are dream figures; it sees what is done in dreams as not done. People on earth are doing nothing, good or bad, for they are merely dreaming. Whatever you see people in bodies do have not been done by them and, as such, cannot be good or bad, so they cannot be rewarded or punished for their earthly behaviors. Gnosticism asks you to not even bother judging what people do on earth with their bodies as good or bad but to just overlook them and focus on the spirit of God, albeit rebellious one,  in the people.

For example, if you see a thief, murderer, fornicator, adulterer, rapist etc. you do not focus on their behaviors for whatever they did is done in dreams and have not been done.

The world may believe that they did something wrong and punish them but a person of God must forgive them by overlooking their behaviors and focus on the Christ in them. You must see the innocence of people regardless of whatever they did.

You have a choice whether to accept ego scientists' total acceptance of this world as real (scientists want to worship their bodies, have homosexual and other forms of sex and consider those as enjoyable) or to deny that this world is real.


I tended to be in the middle, vacillating between seeing this world as real or accepting God as real hence I had self-doubt. I resolve this self-doubt by accepting the scientific method as my way of dealing with the world and at the same time knowing that the world is nothing hence forgives everything done in it.


God is real; in fact, God is all there is, anything else is an illusion. I do not doubt that God exists, not even a little bit.

The God in me, that is, the Holy Spirit representing God and my real self, the Christ, always tells me what will happen to me and it happens as it tells me.

God in his immanent self in the temporal universe, the Holy Spirit, is always guiding us. It is up to us to listen to him or ignore him and listen to the other guide in us, the ego.

If we listen to the ego, who is in our left mind and is our wrong mind, we live in conflict and pain.

If we listen to the Holy Spirit, who is in our right mind, we live in peace and joy and have material abundance.

When we commit wholly to God and his voice in the world we overcome our self-doubts and live confidently.

Ozodi Thomas Osuji

October 27, 2017


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Ozodi Osuji Ph.D

Ozodi Thomas Osuji is from Imo State, Nigeria. He obtained his PhD from UCLA. He taught at a couple of Universities and decided to go back to school and study psychology. Thereafter, he worked in the mental health field and was the Executive Director of two mental health agencies. He subsequently left the mental health environment with the goal of being less influenced by others perspectives, so as to be able to think for himself and synthesize Western, Asian and African perspectives on phenomena. Dr Osuji’s goal is to provide us with a unique perspective, one that is not strictly Western or African but a synthesis of both. Dr Osuji teaches, writes and consults on leadership, management, politics, psychology and religions. Dr Osuji is married and has three children; he lives at Anchorage, Alaska, USA.

He can be reached at: (907) 310-8176