For ten years, 2006-2016, I tried to change Igbos, other people and the world and did not change one of them. Igbos remain as crazy as I saw them in 2005 (when I joined Nigerian Internet forums and encountered them) hence resolution to help them by giving them psychological and philosophical knowledge that I thought would improve them. They still say the same old, same old nonsense; they are always insulting people, putting Nigerians down, calling each other osu and efulefe hence telling Nigerians what to call them; they are their own worst enemy; they seem inherently stupid. Therefore, it is now time for me not to worry about them or try to change them. It is now time for me to concentrate on changing me, not other people. I must experience God and become a teacher of God, the only profession that makes sense to me.
SEX IS TEMPORARY ESCAPE
If one seeks sex (with a real woman or pornography and other forms of vicarious sex) one is temporarily diverted; one sort of feels engaged from seeking sex (which is of ego and body). Sex is the ultimate affirmation of our bodies and egos.
Whereas a bout of sex can make one escape from existential depression for a little while it does not eliminate it. A few minutes after having sex the meaninglessness of existence on earth dawns in one's awareness.
Therefore, sex and pursuit of physical things are not the answer, at least, not for me. The answer is to live in God (which we always do but that knowledge is not in our awareness).
I HAVE ENTERED THE FINAL PHASE OF MY LEARNING BEFORE I TRANSCEND LEARNING TO KNOWLEDGE
I have understood what A course in miracles, Gnosticism, Hinduism and Buddhism is teaching. They all ask for one to overlook this world (no morality attached to what one is doing, for one can be a thief or a saint it does not matter), just overlook this world and do not desire it.
This is what is called meditation. Have no thoughts in your mind; do not think; make your mind empty of ego based thoughts. If you get rid of ego based thinking you obtain inner peace and joy.
The real world, the world of light forms (which is where we are right now and we do not see it because we desire the world of dark forms) will dawn on one's awareness.
When that world of light forms is experienced one is enlightened; one can also tune the world of light forms out and remain still and experience the world of unified formless light hence is in God, and become God realized.
I am now waiting to experience the world of light forms and thereafter the world of formless light. Until I experience them I am not a teacher of God and will not teach what I do not know is true (I know them to be true intellectually but not experientially).
When God is experienced, one can re-enter it at will and thereafter renter our world at will; one with God's mind in one will generate the money one needs to do ones work.
My mind does not find any other type of work motivating (I go to secular class and teach my courses without thinking about them) hence will not do it.
I will wait for light and God realization.
June 27, 2016