Wednesday, 08 January 2014 00:37

Why Covert White Lesbians Marry Black Men And Spiritual Matters

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The thesis of this paper is that many white women who marry black men are covert lesbians; it is heuristic, not scientific, for it has not been proved to be true.  The reader should make of it what he likes.  The second part of the paper looked at the issue with spiritual eyes.

Why Covert White Lesbians Marry Black Men And Spiritual Matters

Ozodi Osuji

When I was in college I read a psychoanalytically oriented book trying to explain why white women marry black men.  I have forgotten the name of that book.  However, I seem to recall that the author said that white women who marry black men are covert lesbians.

His thesis was that white women who are on a power trip and resent that their white society is dominated by white men seek to dominate somebody. Black people are dominated by white men. So, those women figure: why don’t we dominate black men? That is to say that they marry black men as a means of exercising power over men; they want to dominate men and since the only men available for their dominance in American society are black men they marry them and dominate them.

In effect, white women- black men relationships are not based on love but on power plays. White women are socially powerless and want to be powerful and marry black men who they can exercise power over.

The black men these power seeking white women marry, the book said, tend to be weak and dependent characters. They are not men who assert their male egos in a manly way but are weak and allow other people to push them around.  In today’s language, they have dependent personality disorder.  Such men want other people to tell them what to do and that includes women telling them what to do.

In American society, white women are placed on a pedestal and if a black man messes with them he is likely to be harmed by white men. Thus, most black men avoid white women for they do not want to be harmed or even killed. But if a white woman takes the initiative to relate to a black man that is another matter. She came to him and essentially befriended him and eventually married him.

In other words, the white woman is the boss in such relationships; she is the one who allowed a “nigger” to touch her supposed beautiful white body. He is now beholden to her for allowing him to touch her body. If he dares try to control her, as men normally control women, she gets him into trouble with the white world. All she needs to do is call the police and say that a black man is abusing her and the black man is whisked off to jail.

Simply started, the white woman in an interracial relationship rules their home as the boss, the superior one.  She is the one who wears the pants in their house. She is the man and the black man is the woman.

In most American high schools and colleges the chances are that black boys have sex with white girls but move on. The black boys would say: “I fooled around with them white bitches but when I am ready to settle down I will find me a black woman, my Nubian queen”.

Even during slavery times white women and black male slaves had sex. When a black man got a white girl pregnant the parents would take the child away from her and give it to a black slave woman to bring up (and the child probably becomes a house nigger, as opposed to field nigger).

White slave owners, white men practically had sex with most of their black slaves. This way most black Americans are of mixed race heritage; indeed, many white folks have African blood in them.

James Watson of DNA fame made some noises about how black folks are dumb and someone did a little research on his background and found out that he has some African in him. I doubt that there is a white American whose heritage traces to a couple hundred years in America who is not mixed with other races.

Whereas interracial sex is going on all over the place they generally do not lead to marriages.  They seem to lead to marriage in situations where the white woman has a hidden agenda:  to be the boss of black men and the black men involved with them tend to be dependent personalities.

The two parties do not necessarily understand these motivations at the time they come together; if they did they probably would not enact their neurotic dance.

I do not know that most white women who hang out with black men are covert lesbians; however, recent events in my life seem to lend credence to that thesis.

It seems that when white women hang out with black men and the relationship ends they gravitate to overt lesbianism. As it were, they were closet lesbians before their relationship with black men ended and they finally became what they always were: lesbians.

These days no one tries to explain the lesbian phenomenon, for it is taken as an acceptable alternative life style. In the past, however, psychoanalysis saw it as a deviant lifestyle and, as such, tried to explain how it originated.

Alfred Adler saw lesbians as women who are protesting men’s dominance over them; his term is masculine protest. As Adler saw it, men dominate women in our society. Most women accept men’s control but some women resent it.

Those women who do not like male control of them seek ways to control men and society. But in our extant society men control everything. Unable to challenge men for power, lesbians figure that they can challenge men in the sexual area.

Since men have sex with women, lesbians figure that they need to also have sex with women. In having sex with women they are preventing men from having sex with some women, and that counts as power over men (I have prevented you from taking what you want, women and now have them).

In other words, they are in power struggle with men for access to women and at least take a few women away from men, the women they have lesbian sex with.

As Adler saw it, lesbians are on a power trip, they want to have access to females and control them but their larger goal is to control male society; their long term agenda is to rule society.

And they are making headways in ruling society. There is no doubt that soon women would be ruling most Western countries.  As soon as they are able to make their presence in the military felt they would take over Western societies (but not Muslim societies).

Male society is predicated on brute force and the military and police are still the best way to rule male society.  Those who control the military and police control society. Women aim at eventually controlling the military and police hence controlling society.

In my experience I notice that when white women leave black men they become overt lesbians; this tells me that they were always lesbians but had not yet manifested it.  The dynamics of what they are now doing as lesbians was always there; they went for black men to control them, to exercise power over them and later go for other women to exercise power over them.  Their long term goal is to control men and society.

These women want to control men; they begin their quest for control over men by controlling those that society deem weak and powerless, black men, and later control other women as a way of taking them away from men and thus exercise power over them; their long term agenda is to control all  men, black and white.

A few years ago an African American friend told me that he was married to a white woman in New City. He said that one day he was not feeling well at work and came home without calling his wife. Guess what he saw? His white wife was having sex with another woman. He packed up and left. He felt depowered and diminished in status. His self-esteem was attacked and took a beaten by the fact that another woman was a rival for his wife’s sexual favor, that he lost his wife to another woman.

It took him some time to realize that he did not own his wife and that she had the right to have sex with women, dogs and horses if that is what she wanted to do.  But eventually he did accept reality.  But the way he dealt with that reality is not desirable.  He said that now he saw all white women as mere cunts and pussies. When he felt the desire for sex and if he needed a white woman he simply goes and gets “a white pussy”, did his thing and had no attachment to the woman he did it with.  He did not have love for the women for he believed that they are bitches and not to be trusted; he felt hurt and uses his hurt to hurt other people. To him a white woman is a piece of meat and that is all there is to her. (In my opinion this is not right; no human being, regardless of what they did in the past should be treated without love.)

The relevant point, though, is the fact that a white woman was married to a black man and was also having lesbian affair with another woman. This seems to lend support to the thesis that white women who marry black men are covert lesbians who eventually become overt lesbians.

How did it come to pass that this line of thinking makes sense to me?  I used to have a white girl friend. She is the most cynical human being I have ever come across; she does not believe that love is real and is cynical about any one telling her that he loves her.

I did not feel that she loved me or was capable of loving any man and thus I left her. Recently, I found out that she has a female lover; in other words, she has turned overt lesbian.

I suspect that when we were together she probably saw me as a weak black man whom she could exercise power and control over. When that relationship ended she proceeded to do what she had always wanted to do, be with women so as to exercise power and control over them, and take them away from men.

I am by demeanor very quiet and scholarly. In my relationship with women I tend not to make waves; I tend to allow them to win whatever arguments we have. As I see it, men should not fight with women. I had rationalized this passivity around women as necessary for peace in my home.  Apparently, it is a feature of dependent and passive aggressive personality. I can see why women on power trips can see me as a person they can control.  Actually, I allow women to control me for a while but when I have had enough I become angry and do something about it, such as ending the relationship or trying to understand it. I usually set the records straight and do not just run away; if that means writing a long letter to the women and telling them about their personalities I do it.

My ex white girl friend is in a power struggle with men and one way to win it is to strap on a dildo and pretend to have a penis and stick it into the other woman’s mouth, vagina and anus and in her mind is now doing what men do to women.  She has the woman suck on her vagina and gives her as many orgasms as is possible in one night. Now she is the boss over women and has them service her desire; and, of course, she reciprocates by servicing them, doing to them what they did to her.

By and large, she is the dike type, the dagger, the husband and her female friend is her wife. In her mind she is now a man doing to women what men do to them hence a very powerful person.

Of course, she is not powerful; she is merely engaged in wishful thinking, as neurotics do; neurotics often act as if they are their wished for powerful selves; they live in fantasy land.

No human being is powerful; consider that any human being can shoot another human being and he or she is dead; and in a couple of days his body would rot and smell like feces. Where then is the power of human beings?

My ex-girlfriend has crossed the line from normal sexuality to abnormal sexuality; there is no going back for her despite her best intentions. Ordinarily, she is amoral; she has no strong sense of right and wrong and does not feel guilty or remorseful from doing things that hurt people (this is typical feature of the group B personality disorders: anti-social, narcissistic, histrionic and borderline). Because she does not have a strong sense of moral absolutes she will try anything and not feel bad about it. If having sex with women, dogs, horses and other animals gives her good physical sensation she would do it and not feel like she is doing wrong. Thus, I do not see her ever extricating herself from her present lifestyle.

She is a user of people and not a lover of people. When she called to spend an evening with me she did so to use me for company because her lover was away from town.  Indeed, she is also probably using her so-called lover and that person would eventually find out and they would part their ways.

This recent event in my life is not the first time that this sort of thing has happened around me.  I once had a Canadian lady friend. When we broke up I left my apartment to her.  A few months later the apartment manager emailed to me asking if I still lived there, saying that she had not seen me for a while. She said that my ex-friend is living with another woman.  I told her that I had moved out and she had me assign the lease to my ex-friend.

For the purpose of this paper, the salient point is that I left two white women and they decided to practice lesbianism. What these two episodes tell me is that white women who hang out with black men probably already were disposed to lesbian lifestyle but had not had the courage to come out of the closet and declare what they always were. When their relationship with the black men ends they finally live who they are.

They may rationalize what they are now doing by saying that the men in their lives were no good; that they abandoned them (abandoned them perhaps because they saw them as not loving women). All those are excuses but the salient point is that they had always wanted to have sex with women; they want to do so to have power over women or to take women away from men; they did so in their struggle with male dominated society and their desire to dominate society.

I believe that women, like men, desire power over their world and there is nothing wrong with that desire; however, male dominated society took power away from women. All over the world men rule society. Women would like to rule society and resent that men prevent them from doing so.  They are seeking ways to rule society. Since men still rule society they mostly rule society covertly not overtly.  In marriages, for example, women rule the men at their home while the men rule the outside society.

Obviously, we have to figure out a way to make ruling a shared thing; women are as intelligent as men and should participate in ruling their society. The world of the future is going to be ruled by both men and women; that is reality and we must accept it.

As additional evidence that women seek power in their relationship with men consider this episode from my college days. When I was in college I had a girlfriend. She told me that she wanted to become a missionary for her religion in Africa. She eventually married an African, not out of love but because she wanted to use him as a means for her to go do what she had always wanted to do, preach her religion to Africans. In preaching her religion to Africans she felt that she was showing them the way to God and that made her feel powerful. When the husband decided that he wanted to live in the USA he frustrated her desire to use him to go do her religious work in Africa. As it were, he sabotaged her power quest. She thereafter did not like him and the relationship ended. In less than a month from the time the husband moved out of their house this woman who had claimed to be a religious person had another man, an Arab move in with her, regardless of the effect of such behavior on her children (her behavior taught them that it was okay for mothers to live with their lovers even if they are not married). Apparently, her new fantasy is to use the Arab man to go to Arabia and go teach her religion.

Obviously, this woman is not religious or loving; she was merely using men to seem to teach religion but actually wanted to control them, exercise power over them.

The point, again, is that the relationship of the white woman and her black husband was based on her desire for power, not love.

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Ozodi Osuji Ph.D

Ozodi Thomas Osuji is from Imo State, Nigeria. He obtained his PhD from UCLA. He taught at a couple of Universities and decided to go back to school and study psychology. Thereafter, he worked in the mental health field and was the Executive Director of two mental health agencies. He subsequently left the mental health environment with the goal of being less influenced by others perspectives, so as to be able to think for himself and synthesize Western, Asian and African perspectives on phenomena. Dr Osuji’s goal is to provide us with a unique perspective, one that is not strictly Western or African but a synthesis of both. Dr Osuji teaches, writes and consults on leadership, management, politics, psychology and religions. Dr Osuji is married and has three children; he lives at Anchorage, Alaska, USA.

He can be reached at: (907) 310-8176