Saturday, 26 August 2017 22:45

So Ndiigbo Are Good, But a Few Bad Igbos make Many Dislike Ndiigbo?

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The Arewa Boys are mistaken to lump all Ndiigbo in a bundle and pass them off as deplorable undesirables. I am Igbo, and I sometimes  dislike some of the things my fellow Igbo people do. While I admire Ndiigbo as a hard-working tribe, I dislike bip (pronounced B-E-E-P, meaning bad Igbo people). I do dislike some of my people  very intensely for many reasons.

The purpose of this essay is to state categorically that Ndiigbo are responsible for their predicament in Nigeria.  This explains why the bad Igbo people have earned the title "the most   reprehensible, blameworthy, and antisocial  persons." Igbos are not the  unwittinly innocent victims of other people's  evil machinations; they are the architects of their misfortune and objects of national ridicule.

The purpose of this essay is to paint the Igbos with the true color in order to help them change selves. The truth is that Igbos are everything  that has nothing to do with goodness.  The Igbos can and ought to change.You may say to me: "Why this sudden change of attitudes towards your own Igbo people? You used to love them, didn't you? Are you Igbo?"  Igbos need to swallow the bitter pills of truth from time to time. You ask: "Are you truly Igbo and why are you attacking your people?"

I am nwafor Igbo (naturally born Igbo man), from the State of Anambra, in one of the best premier Local Governments. I am  what you may call ezigbo Onye Igbo (true Igbo person). I used to love Igbos until they betrayed me.  Being Igbo doesn't prevent me from criticizing  other Igbos. You criticize people you love. A loving father is expected to discipline a cherished  child.  I criticize who I love because I want him or her to be better, more palatable, less disappointing.   We are each other's keepers. Doesn't iron sharpen iron? If you don't understand that, you  are Igbo hater and need to wisen up.

Surely, Igbos are naturally bad.  Igbos were once gods in this writer's private world, but are now becoming increasingly devilish.  Didn't some Igbos drug pushers  murder some  church members at Ozubulu Catholic  Church in Anambra to show their badness as a sacrilege? A sacrilege is  a blaspheme, irreverence, disrespect, profanity. It is an insult to God the Creator of all lives, isn't it?

My God is ashamed  for creating the murderous  Anayamirins . Can anything good come out of Anyamirin land? Can Igboman justifiably destroy what he did not create? Ndiigbo are bad in the sense  they love money to the extent that nothing else on earth matters more.

The Igbos  would love you when you praise them, butter their bread on both sides with the smear of dishonesty, deceit, lies, falsehood, fabrication, mendacity, deception. Tell igbos they are good, and you become their bosom friends forever and ever. Tell them the truth like "you are bad and you eat too much, drink too much beer, and fuck each others' wives too often."  What happens? They would crucify you upside down  no osisi obe nenwu oku (on a wooden, burning cross).

The truth is this: Igbos are a very  bad people If you live among and can understand  how  Igbos' warped mindset works. Ever wonder why Igbos are suffering in Nigeria ?  One Igbo man stopped me in front of Walmart  to ask me a perplexing  question: "Why are our people so bad? I asked Edward Okoye (I believe that was the name his father gave him) the same question.

Edward perplexes me with a perplexing question  while I stood perplexed  in front of Walmart under the August scorching, sizzling, blazing, sweltering, blistering, and baking late August sun's  heat. I was perplexed. To be perplexed , is to be confused, at a loss, mystified, confounded, baffled, thrown, or bewildered. This essay answered some of Edward's questions. Ndiigbo are bad because badness is in the blood of Ndiigbo.

Some Ndiigbo have  robbed  you, disappointed you, wounded you, and left  you perplexed. Other  Ndiigbo members of your family have done you a great wrong in that while you re attempting to be a model family member who is naively trusting, accepting  and loving of my people,  your fellow siblings have stabbed you in the back and robbed  you from my blind spot. Isn't it  bad when you are afraid of your own family?

When you were naïve, inexperienced, raw, trusting, immature, green as apple, something like a naïve man you were,  your family members told others you were  a bloody fool, yet  you are a wise man without whose help your  nieces and nephews would not have graduated  from universities and opened businesses. Who knows if Chineke (God of Ndiigbo) has kept you alive so you can continue to be blessings to others?

Some Ndiigbo people  are predatory in that they are voracious, greedy, rapacious, and grasping, insulting, disappointing, and waiting  to kick my flat ass in order to suck out the last kobo. Sometimes, they are so uncaring they would  bury  a living blood relation alive, just to have a funeral . They would  leave a relative gasping for air while the relative is perplexed, and scared stiff. Igbos can be pernicious. Sometimes this writer wonders if there is any benefit in belonging to the tribe.

Some Ndiigbo people  can be bad, awfully terrible , dreadfully appalling, shockingly horrific, and ghastly inhumane and horrific. They are perspicacious, suggesting a special keenness and ability to cause harm. There is no end to the appellations descriptive of Ndiigbo.

Are you surprised to read this from this writer who  has  been penning some good stuffs about my Igbo people because they are my people,  because they gave birth to me, because I speak their language, think as they do, and surprisingly (shockingly) behave as they do.

I could not help painting the Igbos with a broad brush and strokes  of immaculate praise and depicting Igbos in sketches that are glorious, full of tall tales of conquests that are wonderful, splendid, marvelous, celebrated, superb, impressive, fabulous, famous, heroic, and herculean, which suggests the superhuman size and strength of Greek god  Hercules. All these have been in the past before I shed the cloak of immaturity. Ndiigbo are a bad specimen of humanity.

I love being a child of Igbo parents. To me, being Igbo is epoch-making. Call it unreal, childish, puerile, infatuation, rubbish, lacking of seriousness or good judgment.  Sometimes, I scratch my head and pinch  my butt. when  my soul says: "Dianyi, were nwayo. Ina ekwu eziokwu?" ( My friend, take it easy. Are you being truthful?. The Igbos perplex beyond measures for they are more devilish than godly. They are bamboozling. I have to remind myself constantly: "You cannot lose faith in your people"

My love affair with the Igbos has taken a terrible beating. The Igbos like it when you speak something flowerily about them  or spread a tale that is spuriously fictional, fictitious, fastidious, or fabulous  about them , when you kiss their anyamirin ass, and when you inflate their sickening  ego just as you would pump up a flat tire with ikuku (air), provided the air is compressed lies, and you did the pumping with an object rather than the mouth you eat foo-foo with.

Many Igbos have the capacity to fill their stomachs up with so much deceits/falsehoods, they become constipated. Many Igbos  often steal from close family members because  they are full of excessive greed and envy of neighbors whose bank accounts have an extra  Naira. Igbos are fixated on material possessions. Fixation is a psychological term meaning the Igbos often go after and are immersed in something like wealth. Igbo fixation with money is not an unusual obsession; it is fascination, mania, addiction , or compulsive passion.

Ndiigbo are so fixated on money it seems they stop growing and become transfixed, motionless, as If suspended in midair at the sight or smell of Naira. They stop moving as a result of surprise, shock, interest, amazement, awe, terror that comes from the sight or smell of currency. Why? That's the kind of power money has on Ndiigbo, including wealth's centrifugal and centripetal forces.

Many Igbos cannot work together as the Hausas and Yorubas do, and when the Igbos do work cooperatively, some idiotic Igbo chairman or secretary carries the money belonging to the group and vamooses. To vamoose is slang, meaning to hurry away as some boorish scoundrels. These are the thieves or one-eyed bandits  you find in President Buhari's  cabinet and Ndiigbo governor's mansions. Ndiigbo can be not just bad; they are  treacherous.

And when an Igbo steals, he doesn't  just  pinch or pilfer. He carries not just some, but all of the goodies, including the money bags and financial statements  so you cannot trace anything, leaving nothing to chance.  While stealing, the Igbo thief gallops at 770 mps ( miles per second  in a zone marked for 10 yards. A thief runs fast when no man pursues. Some enterprising Igbos ransack the entire department and burn down the building so that no accountant can trace what actually happened.

It seems that some Igbos cannot organize themselves into a viable group with one voice for political purpose. Igbo voices are clamorous, boisterous, obstreperous, and vociferous. The four adjectives describe something obtrusively loud, noisy, rowdy, and disorganized. Ndiigbo talk so mush the police can easily round up the criminals in one swoop.

Consider a situation where one enterprising Igboman named  Chief Obioma comes out to run for  Nigerian political office . Watch hell break loose! When the majority of Obioma 's fellow Igbos are in the running, pulling Obioma down and questioning his backgrounds and  qualifications. The confusion gives  the Northern hegemony time to collecting millions of Naira, not to support  Chief Obioma, but to bribe  him or his opponents  so he would abandon his political ambitions.

Selfish and greedy as most Igbos are, Chief Obioma is more likely to take Hausa money and disappear to the village than be is true to himself and his willingness to serve his community. Money rules the Igbo conscience more than integrity or truthfulness.

Obioma's Village advisors would urge  Chief Kanoye: " Oga, please  pick the bags of Hausa Naira from Kaduna and let's head home to the village in Anambra before our people rob us kpatakpata." There would be a party awaiting Chief Kanoye  upon his return to his secluded village in the East. If you believe this scenario to be true , you are  not only right but you have hit the nail on the head. Nigerians do not take the Igbos serious; some say Igbos are play toys to be manipulated arbitrarily as yoyo's. Money is the thing that kills many Igbos dead as rat poison does  "nkakwu" (Igbo for ugly rats with long mouths).

Someone asks: "Why can't Nigeria have an Igbo President? " The best answer to this is this: How can wild animals have a king over them? Have you been to a kingdom where there is one government led by  Super Lion assisted by many other equally fearsome super King Lions in the bush or have you gone to lunch with two or three captains of the same soccer team? Aren't you looking for palaver when you organize a birthday party for your daughter and twenty hefty male rapists show up?

Come to think of it, Yorubas would riot and throw themselves into Lagos lagoon if you come up with the suggestion that Lagos  should have two Obas of Lagos. The Pope would abdicate  his position as head of the Catholic Church upon hearing rumors that there are two Virgin Mary's. Christianity as we know it today would come to an end if there were two Saviors  named Jesus Christs.   For Igbos, it is one soccer team with a dozen captains. Come to think of it, the Igbos are so aggressive they get nothing done. They keep producing bees without producing honey. The Igbos  are good at destroying  the beehive with billowing , fluttering, smoldering smoke.

The purpose of this essay is to expose my people for what they are without beating about the bush. Exposing Igbos can perhaps make Igbo modify their behavior, do better job of being humbler , more  organized in order to rid themselves of excessive shit. The Igbos  do not like for you to wash their akpa nsi (bags of shit)  in the public, and that's why they appear in public with all manners of bogus titles like Chief Ogbu Agu (killer of lions) or Lolo Adaeze Igwe(Madam the Queen of Heaven).

Not all Igbos are bad.  A handful of rotten eggs can turn the whole  bunch as rotten as effluvium . Some  Igbo are bad.  That's for sure. And , if you want them to like you, you must  own several bicycle pumps with which  to inflate their egos to two or three times their normal sizes. The Igbos are so bad they cherish being continually praised when all is said and done. To Praise is when you admire Igbos, commend Igbos, extol or honor Igbos, eulogize or congratulate Igbos, pay tribute to then , or go extra miles, and be in raptures over these people.Though Igbos love the praises of men, yet Igbos are very undeservedly vain  in that the Igbos are subhuman  at evolutionary  development stage regarded as not being fully human .

We are saying the Igbos are not good,  and we mean it in all sincerity and with every fiber of our beings. However, they Igbos do not like feeling good when good stuffs are ascribed to others as when the umpire hands  a badge of honor or Olympic gold medals to Yoruba or Fulani winners  in wrestling matches and the Igbo is not one of the winners. So long as Ndiigbo are unaware of their handicaps, the presidency of Nigeria shall continue to  elude them, and they shall continue to lose grounds inexorably, unavoidably, and ubiquitously.

For  instance, this writer penned an essay which the Igbos loved to death. The title of the essay was The Igbos Are Gods. This essay written about a week ago had garnered 500 readers almost instantaneously.  But Igbos need to hear the truth once in a while.

By Dr. James C. Agazie, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ; jamesagazies.blogspot.com

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James Agazie Ed D

A retired college Professor  with educational backgrounds in law (JD) education (Ed.D, MA) counseling,( MS) and and mathematics.  Write on topics dealing with Nigerian families, marriages, education, and employment.