www.lavondastaples.com How many times have I heard someone say, "I don't need nobody.  I pay my own bills.  I got my own car.  I got my own house?"  Let me cut to the chase and let you know that I'm convinced that our entire society is convinced that independence is purely a matter of economics.  It isn't.  Who am I to disagree?  I'm nothing.  I'm a nobody.  I can't tell you exactly how I know this but I believe that I'm right.  I don't mind at all if you disagree.  In disagreement there is growth.   It's possible to have…

On this Valentine day I seek a way to express my love for all sentient beings; Love is who we are; Love is really all there is; we temporarily sought to live as the opposite of love hence our seeming journey without a distance into the dream world. Love all people and have a happy dream. When you are tired of dreaming you awaken in love, also called God. Cheers. Nothingness Exists In The Universe Of Matter Space And Time (Is this your idea of love?) Ozodi Thomas Osuji The Hindu eight century philosopher, Shankara said that nothing exists where…

Since the age of eleven when I was privileged to be a flower girl at my older sister's wedding, I had always dreamt of one day finding a man as fine as my sister's husband and getting married to him. I later learned that there was a term used to describe people like me..."hopeless romantic". Of what difference did it make if I was hopeful or hopeless? The most important thing is that I was a romantic. While I sat in the front pew with the rest of the flower girls, my mind wondered away and took me to where…

It seems like just yesterday January fourteenth rolled around the corner and I had to turn plus one, but now we are almost at the end of September. In four months time, I will be confronted with turning plus one again. God does not give me the option of getting older without turning plus one. I want to get older; I want to be more mature; I want to be wiser; I want to get the experience one only gets by spending more time on earth, but I do not necessarily want my age to go higher – at least…

In the generation before ours, and in the generation before the generation before ours, there were people – men and women – who questioned if marital fidelity truly existed. And now, in this generation, here I am, among many others, questioning the same issue, wondering if it is just an ideology instead of an actual day of life. There have been many cases of married men who have come to speak the words to me that in their heads, no woman can say no to: I want to marry you. There have been men who have tried to pretend to…

You know what cars do to you? They make you feel like life will be better with them. Before you get a car, all you can think about is how much better life will be once you get a car. You will be able to go and come as you please. You will not have to plan your schedule around your sister’s free time anymore. You will not have to leave the house two hours before you start work to catch the bus, and you would not have to spend fifteen dollars on cab fare. Oh, and you can stop receiving…

There was a time when Africans, especially the men, kept to their promise of someday returning home to marry the women they left behind. And indeed, a great many did without regard to the women’s financial or social standing. Promises were generally kept, and love honored. Others returned to marry women that had been prearranged based on culture, religion, or family relationship. Those days are mostly long gone as relationship between fiancé and fiancée, at home and abroad, generally comes to an end within a few months of one party leaving the African shore. Today, most Africans who return home…

Annie Brisibe-Porbeni in her essay about the predicament, dilemma, distress and anguish that single, educated, intelligent and fun-loving Black women of African origin face in North America -- when it comes to the issue of dating and marriage is captured in the following excerpts from such women: "...How many of you have boyfriends, husbands or even seeing someone right now with the possibility of a serious commitment...?" "...Living abroad has put us in a box where men are concerned. You are forced because of lack of choices and a thin pool of educated, descent, okay looking and well mannered young…

Marrying a Nigerian man is like buying a car from an auction. What you see is NOT what you get I am always looking for a married person who will coach me on how to find, capture and marry my soul mate, but it seems like the more people I talk to, the more confused I become. Some say "love is natural"; there is no need to work for it. Whatever is meant to be will be, but on the other hand, some people say "when you see what (who) you want, go for it (him)." Now, would someone please…