Embracing difficulty can be one of the most torturous and the most facile experiment ever undertaken by a living being. If you are dead inside you’re stagnant, stuck and sterile. Production is not the proof of life as there are many productive people who are not settled, peaceful, or even content. There are very successful people whose presence never gives an aura of bliss to their surroundings. I believe you have to be awake, conscious and engaged in life in order to embrace difficulties. I am a person who has lived through adversity and have arrived at a point of…

For the years that mattered I lived in a house with a mother and father.  My grandmother and my grandfather were my parents.  I watched everything my grandmother did and I learned from her.  What I feel now for her is anger and sadness.  Why did you teach me all of these things I’ll never be able to use?  I know how to cook.  I know how to clean. I know how to listen.  I know how to love.  None of these skills mean anything in my world.  In her world they meant more than money, well almost more than…

Are you searching for a life partner? Are you searching for love? Are you married and you wonder whether you really love your spouse? This book answers your questions. Love can be eternal, it can be sublime but when it is either misunderstood or discard its essence disaster is inevitable. Basically, you can't give what you don't have. Attraction and emotions can bring two people together but Love sustains the relationship. Are you in love, do you really think you are in love? Don't be in a hurry to respond. The beauty you desire in your relationship is just before…

We got to keep working on our marriages, for when we stop the marriage will stop growing. It will get stagnant and bad things will happen. It is interesting how we spend so much energy on our jobs and many other things and little on our marriages. We all take it for granted that we have “love” and it is going to take care of everything. The truth is that most of the time we do not act in love at all. According to ( I Corinthians 13: 5-7) " 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not…

I never meant to give the impression that the fault lies solely in the laps (or loins) of men.That was not my intention.I am the mother of sons and I have seen them cry real, soul breaking, almost unending tears over the words and deeds of women.Girls.Ladies.Females is more accurate because there is no specificity of species in the designation of "female."Females have ruined the tender male heart and it is no wonder that men have countered the rotation with schemes of their own. My sons have been told that they're not Black enough. This generally means that the woman…

Societal changes rarely delete an institution which is vital to the existence of life. Meaning, there is no cataclysm which can eradicate birth, sexual interaction pursuant to said births, or even the exchange of communication or tangible gifts leading up to the possession of a mate to have sexual interaction to in turn produce a birth. There will always be a boy who picks the brightest apple to give to a girl in hopes of being the one most favoured by the deserving (or undeserving) 'she.' Humans have evolved and during this evolution customs have also expanded, constricted, gained meaning…

Troubles, dramas and untold grieves loom large within the Nigerian communities in the Diaspora. Finding their roles and place within a society most consider strange; how to raise a family that is at once western and African; how to maintain a decent standard of living and at the same time provide for relatives back home; and how to maintain a successful home are at the fore of the squabbles. And then there is the constant complain from women about men, and vice versa. The grouse from women mostly center on the inadequacies of men: they don’t send flowers; they don’t…

The United States of America is full of Africans who came to join their spouses and then unceremoniously abandoned their marital homes. One would suspect that that’s also the case in Canada and in the United Kingdom. Nigerians, more than other Africans, are masters of “taking off.” For whatever reason, there seems to be more female culprits than men. Within my circle of acquaintances, never a month goes by without new stories of wives or fiancée who absconded within a year or so of arriving inAmerica. But the really “smart” ones wait until after securing their greencards or citizenship, before…

There was a time when Africans, especially the men, kept to their promise of someday returning home to marry the women they left behind. And indeed, a great many did without regard to the women’s financial or social standing. Promises were generally kept, and love honored. Others retuned to marry women that had been prearranged based on same or familiar culture, religion, and or family relationship. Those days are mostly long gone as relationship between fiancé and fiancée, at home and abroad, would generally come to an end within a few month of one party leaving the African shore. Today,…