Thinking about writing. Here's the thought: how many of us can or could walk in our mother's shoes? I'm thinking about my mother. She called me today and her presence filled this house. 38 years as a teacher. 46 years as a mother. 62 years old. What happened to her? What are her pains and her joys? Cannot look at this thing through my own myopic vision. Not when someone you love has put her own feelings aside and shared so much love. Put out that hand when mine was far from strong. I love my mother.   I noticed…

This is the introduction to my forthcoming book, the Science of love. The book is still being edited (from its present unwieldy 1200 pages down to a manageable 1000 pages). I thought that you might gain some insights into religion, philosophy and the mission of science from this introduction. Please buy and read the book when it comes out later this year.  (From now on I use my full Igbo name, Ozodiobi and drop my Christian name, Thomas. I reclaim my traditional role as the high priest of Amadioha, of the Umuamadioha clan and stop pretending that I am a…

Dating for love and marriage is contested and contextual. Dating not to be cheap is a tradition. It is generally in vogue. In their ethos, Nigerian females brag about not being cheap and therefore not to be touched at first dates, even in subsequent dates until they feel safe. But are they asking to be costly? May be not, but to keep men begging and staying. Culturally, what is being cheap, why is it valued in female personality belief and practice? Is there something behind this claim by the females to get treated as non-cheap persons? What consequences go with…

I have two sons and two daughters.  Yet I spend almost every waking hour fretting, worrying, crying, and agonizing on one child.  Joslyn Lavonne is 29.  John Van II is 24.  Grant Worthington is 22.  And my Sarah Vaughn is 14.  Yet I concentrate over my one son and beg Allah the Merciful for him to find his respect, dignity, purpose and reason.              Joslyn is a beautiful college graduate who keeps her own house while attending graduate school.  My Sarah can have the world.  Grant is his own man and I rarely take the time to tell him I…

I get emails from all over the world.  It was no surprise when I received an email with a photo attached.  Happy, shiny Black couple beaming from the base of the Eifel Tower.  They were in Paris.  I deleted it.  Photo proof that another girl was living the dream, offered to me, but in my stubborn mind had cast to the side.              One cold day when I was living on the East Coast a few years ago a very good Black man came to me, out of the blue, and said, “I’m going to marry.  I’m considering you.  But…

www.lavondastaples.com Good morning. I've had my time of reflection. I've shed tears of grief, again, for the loss of my grandmother. It's time for some reality, deeper truth. I thought I could file her away in the back of my mind. I couldn't. I paid for that. As did my children in the days which followed my momentary giving up. Like any soldier I made a retreat from the battle. But like a great warrior determined, genetically coded with survival, I returned to the front. Stronger. Better. Wiser. And a little bit more magnificent to behold. She was placed in…

The title of the cover story of African Abroad-USA - March 30-April 14 issue was “African Men Regretting Getting Married to African Women in the US”. First of all, I found the title gender biased. Moreover, the tone of the entire article was how badly African women treat their men. And what was most annoying was that the writer never gave the reason why his childhood friend – the subject of the article – concluded that “African Women Are Now Even Worse than Akata”. By the way, the word “AKATA” (frequently used by Nigerians to berate African-Americans) means a wild animal in…

On Wednesday, May 10, 2012, the President of the United States of America publicly declared his support for homosexual life style. As far as law is concerned, his declaration makes no difference for only Congress can make laws that change the legal status of those who practice sodomy.  Nevertheless, Mr. Obama’s endorsement of this deviant lifestyle adds a certain degree of approval for it. Gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender folk are jubilant. They are now salivating for the day that Congress passes law approving their life style. Thereafter, they would embark on a new campaign to have the law changed…

www.lavondastaples.com How many times have I heard someone say, "I don't need nobody.  I pay my own bills.  I got my own car.  I got my own house?"  Let me cut to the chase and let you know that I'm convinced that our entire society is convinced that independence is purely a matter of economics.  It isn't.  Who am I to disagree?  I'm nothing.  I'm a nobody.  I can't tell you exactly how I know this but I believe that I'm right.  I don't mind at all if you disagree.  In disagreement there is growth.   It's possible to have…