Wednesday, 26 April 2017 23:47

Women need to be loved

Written by 


Ozodi Osuji

What I am going to say may smack of stereotyping women. May be so; maybe not. I am known for stating how I see things without varnishing my perception or trying to say only what would please folks so that they like me. I am totally politically incorrect. I say it as I see it. In that light: here is my perception of women.

Women truly need to be loved by those around them. This is in contradistinction to men; I could care less whether you loved me or not; what is important to me is to state the truth as I see it. If I state my truth and as a result you reject me, that is water off my skin. I do not mind being alone, especially if the price is to violate my mind by saying what I do not believe is true to be accepted by other persons.

If you do not love the women in your life, especially if you say critical things to them, they become stressed. When they are stressed they redirect it to their bodies and a part of their bodies become sick; they easily project their mental distress to medical distress and parts of their bodies become sick.

Psychoanalysts used to say that women are hysterical because they project what is distressful in their minds to medical disorders. I do not like the term hysterical (these days called dissociative disorders); I do, however, believe that there are psychogenic disorders where what is in our minds make our bodies sick. Psychosomatic disorders are real.

My observation of my relationship with women shows me that my lack of love for the women I had encountered in my life (J, P, P, M, L, P, and J) made them sick, literally, not figuratively. I am totally intellectual; I am into psychology, philosophy, religions and physics. My mind is preoccupied with serious matters; generally, I do not have time for what folks call small talk, chitchatting. Talk to me about Kant or Hegel or Schopenhauer or what is going on in physics but do not talk to me about your feelings. By omission I tend to ignore the women in my life. The women in my life felt not loved by me and became sick.

The lesson is that one must endeavor to love the women around one or one should not be around them; you do not want to make them sick; it is a sin to make another person sick.


Here is my perception. Women want men (and their fellow women) to admire their bodies. They want you to tell them how beautiful their bodies are. If you have sex with them they want you to tell them that you enjoyed the sexual activity and to admire their sexual organs. If you admire a woman's body and sexuality she would feel fine but if you do not she would feel bad and ignored by you hence lonely.

A woman may feel physically sick if you do not constantly tell her how beautiful her body is. Most women would dress in the latest fashion, put expensive jewelry on their bodies, put on make ups and want those around them to tell them how  gorgeous they look (I could care less what you say about my looks; I often wear the same shoes, pant, shirt and jacket for a week!)

I have pondered why women desire attention and admiration for a long time.

I came to the conclusion that because women raise children they must admire body. Children are not yet into intellectual activity; they are raw bodies, animals that must be taken care of or else they die. Women must take care of children's bodies. They must therefore admire children's bodies. To admire children's bodies they must admire their own bodies.

Men tend to seek attention through their intellectual activities and social activities (such as from their wealth and social position) whereas women seek attention from how you relate to their bodies and egos.

Therefore, if you are around a woman please admire her body. Even if you are a body rejecting neurotic intellectual, a person who rejects the human body and want to approximate the imaginary mentally constructed ideal self, please do not reject a woman's body; tell her how lovely she is and do so on a regular basis.

Women totally identify with their bodies. They value and take good care of their bodies. They therefore want to be told that their bodies are good looking.

Many women can only relate to men by thinking that men desire their bodies for sex; indeed, paranoid women often think that all men are out to rape them and since they over value their bodies' worth to men they want to put you in jail even for touching their bodies without their permission!

(I tend to take a scientific approach to the human body; I know that our bodies are composed of 64 elements, primarily carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, calcium, magnesium, phosphor, sulfur, iron, copper, sodium, chlorine, zinc and so on; I know that all composed things must decompose; our bodies must die and return to the elements that compose them; the elements are composed of electrons, protons and neutrons. Those particles are composed of quarks and photons. Photons, light came out of nowhere and nothing during the big bang, 13.8 billion years ago. In effect, I see the human body as nothing and do not particularly take it seriously or over value it. When I die please cremate my body for it is not different from a log of wood you burn to warm your house!)

If you do not admire women they will kick you out. If married to you they would feel disrespected and divorce you and take you to the cleaners; taking your money is kind of like prostitutes taking their johns monies, it makes them feel that their bodies are important.

Simply stated love and admire the women in your life and if you cannot do so move away from them; don't hang around a woman if you do not love her and admire her body.

The greatest mistake I made in relating to women is in not loving them and not admiring their bodies. I do not love me and do not admire my body. I see my body as no good and reject it and seek a mentally constructed ideal self. I relate to women from that perspective; reject their bodies and seek an ideal version of them and in the here and now do not love and admire them. They therefore felt sick around me.

Jesus said: give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God. Women seek respect and admiration for their bodies and egos; regardless of how that desire came about just love and admire their bodies without arguing about it.

I made a mistake in not valuing women's bodies. That mistake is now corrected; I must love and value the women around me or move away from them. I cannot afford to disregard another woman and make her feel ignored and sick.


The purpose of life on earth is to make mistakes and learn from them; once one has learned the right thing to do one has no excuse for not doing it. I have learned the critical nature of love in people's lives. If you do not love people you make them sick and may even make them die.  I must, therefore, always love all the people around me. The same applies to you, dear reader. We came from love (God is love), are love and only feel peaceful and happy in loving environments.

To know the truth and not live it is to violate the integrity of your mind; if you do, you go insane.  Now you know love as our truth so love you and all people.

Ozodi Osuji

April 26, 2017

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Ozodi Osuji Ph.D

Ozodi Thomas Osuji is from Imo State, Nigeria. He obtained his PhD from UCLA. He taught at a couple of Universities and decided to go back to school and study psychology. Thereafter, he worked in the mental health field and was the Executive Director of two mental health agencies. He subsequently left the mental health environment with the goal of being less influenced by others perspectives, so as to be able to think for himself and synthesize Western, Asian and African perspectives on phenomena. Dr Osuji’s goal is to provide us with a unique perspective, one that is not strictly Western or African but a synthesis of both. Dr Osuji teaches, writes and consults on leadership, management, politics, psychology and religions. Dr Osuji is married and has three children; he lives at Anchorage, Alaska, USA.

He can be reached at: (907) 310-8176