Friday, 04 August 2017 05:18

We seek other people's attention and approval because we want to live in body

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Ozodi Thomas Osuji

This is an addendum to the essay that I wrote this morning pointing out how fear makes African-Americans to tolerate slavery, racism and makes Africans to tolerate bad governance by their thievish leaders and makes human beings in general to abide by the tyrants that rule them. If people did not fear death they would challenge their leaders and if they are killed that would be better than living as second class citizens.

Why do we seek other people's approval and attention? It is because we believe that if they approve and accept us they would allow us to live and would not harm or kill us. People and societies do kill those they reject. That is to say that we seek social approval because of our desire to live in bodies as separated ego selves.

If we did not desire to live in body and ego state we would not seek other people's approval for it would not matter to us whether they allowed us to live or not.

Indeed, we seek approval from God and please him because we believe that if he exists he could make sure that we live so we have to please him. If we did not care whether we lived on earth or in so-called after death world we would not ask for God's supposed approval; we would not even care for God, for one thing he does not help us on earth and certainly would not help us after we died.

If we did not desire to live after we died we would not seek God's approval. It does not matter whether God existed or not if one does not care to live; it is desire to live that makes people beg a non-existent God for approval; this is cowardly behavior.

God exists but he is not outside us; God is our real self, the center of our being; God is the whole and we are the parts of that whole, or, if you prefer anthropomorphic term, we are the sons of God.

The salient point is that attention seeking behavior is rooted in the individuals' perception that people tend to allow live those they like and reject or destroy those they do not like so they seek people's attention; this behavior is rooted in fear of harm from other people hence is cowardly.

If you do not care for what other people could do to you, you would not seek their attention; you would simply do what you believe is right and not give a damn about what other people think of you and your behavior.

In Thus Spake Zarathustra, Nietzsche said that we are like camels, that in childhood we squat down and allow our masters, society to place heavy loads on us, to socialize us with its culture, and when loaded up, ask us to get up and walk and carry the load to where it wants us to go to; that is, we internalize society's culture and that culture, as Rousseau observed in social contract, chain us and then go about living as society wants us to live.

Nietzsche's superman is the person who throws away the culture he had internalized that weighs him down and does what he believes is right regardless of what other people say or do about it; he does not even mind if he is killed; what matters to him is to live the truth he knows to be the truth; he fights for his truth.

Nietzsche is asking us, individuals to live our truths and stop being goddamned cowards who allow other people to tell us what to do with our lives.

Do you live as you know is right or do you always find out what other people would approve and behave accordingly; that is, are you a coward?

To be fully alive you must live your truth and stop allowing fear of what other people would do to you to influence your behaviors.

When you live your truth you tend to be fearless and physically relaxed whereas if you are like a weather vane always trying to find out where the wind blows, what other people think and behave accordingly, you tend to be tense and anxious.

PS: People tend to be experts at their issues; I used to think about what other people think of me and behaved accordingly but now I could care less what other people think of me; what matters to me is what I believe is  right. The more I do my own thing the more relaxed I am. Fearless people are free and relaxed people. Try it, be your own man!

Ozodi Thomas Osuji

August 3, 2017

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Ozodi Osuji Ph.D

Ozodi Thomas Osuji is from Imo State, Nigeria. He obtained his PhD from UCLA. He taught at a couple of Universities and decided to go back to school and study psychology. Thereafter, he worked in the mental health field and was the Executive Director of two mental health agencies. He subsequently left the mental health environment with the goal of being less influenced by others perspectives, so as to be able to think for himself and synthesize Western, Asian and African perspectives on phenomena. Dr Osuji’s goal is to provide us with a unique perspective, one that is not strictly Western or African but a synthesis of both. Dr Osuji teaches, writes and consults on leadership, management, politics, psychology and religions. Dr Osuji is married and has three children; he lives at Anchorage, Alaska, USA.

He can be reached at: (907) 310-8176