Monday, 14 August 2017 09:55

My mind is responsible for everything that I experience and other matters

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From Ozodi Osuji's Daily Journal:

MY MIND IS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHINGTHAT I EXPERIENCE

When I was in graduate school I concluded that professors serve the powers that be in society and really are not critical of the status quo; if they criticize the gatekeepers of society they could lose their jobs or become marginalized. Thus, they keep quiet as their country and world burns.

It takes fearless, bold militants to go to the streets and mobilize to bring about social change (the society that I want is social democratic with mixed economy). Since professors do not do that I lost respect for them.

Nevertheless, I was trained for academia so occasionally I make halfhearted efforts to make it in academia. I would then have dreams that essentially tell me that I do not belong in academia. I belong in the world of action, where things are done, not Ivory tower where folks just talk and do nothing.  My dreams merely tell me what I already know about me and where I ought to be most useful.

The real question then is what does my mind want me to do, it cannot just be a negative force that tells me what not to do but what does it want me to do?

I actually know what I want to do. I want to invent a new thought system, a philosophy that would give mankind a better way of looking at phenomena. I do not want it rooted in the authority of religion or science but is self-evidently true.

I know what to do; I just haven't had the courage to boldly go do what I came to the world to do. I must do it or else nothing would work out well for me.

There is no one else to blame for my failure or success, for my bad or good; it is my mind that determines everything that I do and that other people do to me.

I am not a victim of the world; the world is my dream; I am responsible for the outcomes I get from life.

I WAS ANGRY AT THE WORLD FOR NOT RESCUING ME FROM MY TROUBLES AND INSTEAD USES ME

It is clear to me that I am very angry at the world for not rescuing me, doing anything to reduce my medical issues, leaving me in pain. I wanted to be helped, rescued and saved.

That underlying sense of anger at the world, especially at my significant others, my father and senior brother, is compounded when I feel that the world wants to use me to do something. During the Nigerian civil war I was angry at Ojukwu and Gowon for I felt that they wanted to use me to serve their ego needs. If I could I would have killed both of them for I asked: how dare they want to use me, what have they done for me?

My father had similar medical issues as I do and had a dependent need to be rescued by other people; needing rescue how could he rescue me? He felt overwhelmed by the world's demands on his body and wanted to retire and go rest but the problem was that his children were still young. From age fourteen he felt that I was a burden on him financially and felt that I needed to go away and relieve him of the need to pay my school fees.

I understand his issues. He could not help me for he needed help; he could not rescue me for the exigencies of his life made him seek rescuers.

There are no heroes out to rescue any one. What I need to do is overcome my medically induced desire for other people to rescue me and rescue myself, do for me whatever I need to do to survive and not depend on other people to do anything, good or bad for me.

I must finally become an adult man and take care of my business. This will affect my relationship with women for I would no longer treat them like they are my mother who ought to do something for me; I would do something for them and treat them as adult women; I would have them satisfy whatever  needs adult men desire from women and satisfy their needs from adult men (especially financially).

I must not look for other people's acceptance and approval of me; to ask for other people's acceptance and approval means that you are insulting you, for you must behave to seem as what you think that they would approve.

A sickly child needs his parents and other peoples acceptance and support to survive but an adult man does not need it; you do not need women to accept and love you for they are not your mother, so pleasing them to get them to love you is childish; you do not need men to love you for they are not your father; all you need do is accept you as you are, not as you think that you could become to be accepted by other people.

What all these mean is going from the psychology of a child to the psychology of an adult; this includes not seeking any religion's approval but merely living your life as you see fit.

I do not need Jesus or any other so-called religious authority to tell me who my real self is or what to do; I know who my real self is and know what to do with my life.

I AM QUICK TO CRTICIZE BLACK FOLKS BUT UNDERSTAND WHITE FOLKS

Generally, I am too quick to see the mistakes made by black folks, Africans, Nigerians and Igbos; in other words, mistakes made by people like me. I would then proceed to blame them. I also see the mistakes made by white folks but generally understand them without much criticism.

For example, I see white Americans reacting defensively to their perception that black and non-white folks are overwhelming them in numbers; I understand why they are afraid of foreigners. They believe themselves more advanced than other races and believe that if, say, there are too many Africans in America, given Africans backwardness in the world of science and technology, that their country would become backward. There is some truth to white fears for obviously Africans are less scientifically developed. In effect, I understand the source of white folk's fears.

On the other hand, I do not always make attempts to understand black folk's fears. I believe that this tendency to see what is wrong with black people and blame them is rooted in my desire to be modern, to be scientific and my association of backwardness with Africans.

I am terrified of being like Africans for to me they are primitive folks.  I want them to become modernized and scientific.

For me, the issue is not skin color for I could care less about a person's skin color but my association of backwardness with Africans. I simply do not want to be primitive.

Clearly, Western Europeans are way ahead of Africans in science and technology (I do not particularly care for Eastern Europeans for they are not scientific).

I understand the root of my quick criticism of black folks and toleration of white folk's egregious mistakes. It is however, not easy to change it since I fear what black folks represent, backwardness.

Nevertheless, I have to learn not to criticize black folks for their issues are actually very understandable.  I want a scientific culture and society; what I should do is work to transform black society to a scientific culture.

Please do not tell me to accept a non-scientific culture for that is not going to happen. My heroes are physicists, chemists and biologists, not superstitious folks.

I AM EMOTIONALLY CLOSED NOT OPEN

In childhood, due to medical issues that made me feel not good enough, I posited an ideal self that I wanted to become and have been trying to become it. In pursuit of the ideal, powerful-self I tend to be inflexible and rigid.

I do not relate to people spontaneously.   I am always defending my desired ideal self and fearing relating from what seems to me a weak self. This way I am standoffish from people. Since, obviously, I know a lot people tend to see me as "a know it all", arrogant prick. Many persons resent my seeming haughtiness and pride.

I have superior intelligence; there is nothing that I can do about that. All I need to do is not look down on any one; I must be humble.

I have to learn to be open emotionally; I have to let go of all ego defenses, let go of the wish for ideal, superior self and simply relax and smell the roses.

I have to relate to all people as brothers and sisters and stop fleeing from them to go maintain my desired ideal self in social isolation. That is to say that I have to heal my avoidant cum dependent personality issues, my neurosis ala psychoanalysts.

I have to laugh more often; actually, when I smile and or laugh those around me like it a lot for it is a break from my usual somber, reflective mood.

Life is not such a serious business; we are born and will die so why take life too seriously. As Horace said, seize the day (carpe diem); do whatever you can today and do not worry about tomorrow, for the one thing that is certain about the future is that we shall all die.

I must see the world as an elaborate joke, a dream, really, and have fun of it. I must become a jolly philosopher, not the too serious philosopher that currently I am.

MY REAL SELF IS SPIRITUAL LIGHT; LIGHT IS LOVE

My real self is a spark of spiritual light that lives through my body and when that body dies it is liberated from the imprisonment of body, from darkness.

In this world I can remember the light that is in me and all people and love it. That light is love, so I can love all people.

Love for all does not mean giving things to other persons for to give to others assumes their lack of what you give to them; yes, each person has certain lacks, the solution to them is to help people to do things for themselves and not do anything for them under the misguided religious belief that you need to give things to people; no, you don't.

Our obligation is to provide for young people through college but after that each person is on his own, to swim or drown. As I see it, we must provide all people with a single payer health insurance and education through university but beyond those each person is on his own.

I AM MY OWN SAVIOR; NO EXTERNAL PERSON CAN SAVE ME

I am my own savior just as I was the one who condemned me  to  the ego and body and its suffering; my salvation comes from me just as my slavery came from me; the left (ego) or right (Holy Spirit)  minds are part of me.

No other person, no God, no Holy Spirit and no Jesus or Buddha can save me, only me can save me.

ENLIGHTENMENT IS RECOGNIZING THE LIGHT THAT IS ALREADY INSIDE ONE

Enlightenment is recognizing the light that is already in me that is masked by my ego and body and living from it. Enlightenment does not come from outside me but from inside me.

Each of us came to the world of the ego, separation, darkness with a spark of God's light in him. We cover that light with the ego and can unmask it and live from it. Living from the light means living from love.

Enlightenment means loving me and loving all people, living from love, for our real self is love.

LIVING FROM THE LIGHT MEANS LIVING FROM LOVE;

LIVING FROM GOD MEANS LIVING FROM LOVE

Love is giving; if you give you feel alive; if you do not give you do not feel alive; if you expect to get and not give you are suffering; suffering is receiving love without giving love to you and other persons.

The essence of love is giving without expecting anything in return. God is love; he gives to us and does not expect anything in return from us.

Our true nature is part of God, part of love so we must, like God, give without expectation of returns.

When you give to people and not expect anything from them you are living in joy and happiness.

FORGIVENESS MEANS OVERLOOKING PEOPLE'S EGOS AND BODIES TO SEE THE DIVINITY IN THEM. FROM THE DIVINITY IN YOU, YOU HELP THEM TO CORRECT THEIR HURTFUL BEHAVIORS;

FORGIVENESS DOES NOT CONDONE OTHER PEOPLE'S HURTFUL BEHAVIORS.

YOU CORRECT ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIORS FROM YOUR RIGHT MIND, FROM LOVE, FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT, FROM GOD, NOT FROM THE PUNITIVE LEFT EGO MIND.

MY BODY IS ALLERGIC TO CAFFEINE, COFFEE AND TEA, SUGAR; SO I MUST STOP TAKINGTHEM

My body does not like coffee, tea and sugar and other stimulants (it also does not like downers). Therefore, if I want to feel ok I must avoid caffeine etc. Like a fool every once in a while I still drink coffee; I should not do so. I do not touch alcohol or any kind of drugs.

ENLIGHTMENT IS LIVING FROM THE LIGHT IN ONE WHICH IS ONES REAL SELF

To be enlightened is to live from the light of God that is already in one; that light self is ones real-self.  That light self is love, it loves one and all people and corrects one's harmful behaviors and helps other persons to correct their harmful behaviors.

I live from that light self, my real self and to the extent that I do so I am enlightened. I don't always live from it; occasionally, my overlearned dependent tendencies try to assert itself and if I catch it and immediately correct it I am back to peace and joy.

What are my life's goals? My goals are living from the light, living from my real self and living from love and helping people to do so.

Publishing my books on living from the loving self, publishing a monthly magazine called living from the loving self and organizing my center for mind science into a college is my life's mission.

As long as I do these things I have no financial and social lacks and I live in peace and happiness but if I deviate from them I live in conflict.

Ozodi Thomas Osuji

August 14, 2017

www.centerformindscience.org

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Ozodi Osuji Ph.D

Ozodi Thomas Osuji is from Imo State, Nigeria. He obtained his PhD from UCLA. He taught at a couple of Universities and decided to go back to school and study psychology. Thereafter, he worked in the mental health field and was the Executive Director of two mental health agencies. He subsequently left the mental health environment with the goal of being less influenced by others perspectives, so as to be able to think for himself and synthesize Western, Asian and African perspectives on phenomena. Dr Osuji’s goal is to provide us with a unique perspective, one that is not strictly Western or African but a synthesis of both. Dr Osuji teaches, writes and consults on leadership, management, politics, psychology and religions. Dr Osuji is married and has three children; he lives at Anchorage, Alaska, USA.

He can be reached at: ozodiosuji@gmail.com (907) 310-8176