Saturday, 22 April 2017 14:15

Lack of love caused mental disorders; love heals all mental disorders

Written by 

The Absence Of Love Is The Cause Of All Emotional And Mental Disorders;

The Presence Of Love Is What Heals All Emotional And Mental Disorders

Ozodi Thomas Osuji

 

I am always thinking about what other people think about me; I would like them to see me as powerful and perfect, a superior person. This means that I do not really think about them but am preoccupied with what they think about me; I want them to collude with me and see me as I want to be seen, an important person.

I do not have love for those I want to have high opinion of me; I do not have love for my actual self and for my real self (see Karen Horney, 1950, Neurosis and Human Growth. New York: Norton; she described the nature of normal growth and neurotic growth and explained the differences between actual self, real self and normal self).

What I seem to care for is my superior self, the wished for mask which is not my true self. I do not love me and other people's actual and real selves.

In my relationships, especially with my ex-wife and my children I wanted them to acknowledge my ego importance and in the process did not pay attention to their needs; I became angry when they did something that belittled my ego. In effect, I did not love my ex-wife and children, as I should.

MEDICAL ISSUES AND STRUGGLE FOR ONES EGO SURVIVAL LEADS TO SELF CENTEREDNESS AND UNLOVING SELF

I know why I am unable to love. In childhood I had loads of medical issues (including Cytochrome C Oxidase deficiency, Spondylolysis and Mitral Valve Prolapse) and felt about to die; I wanted other people to take care of me but did not learn to reciprocate and take care of other people.

This is what Alfred Adler would call the fate of the sickly and or spoilt child; such children and adults want other people to take care of them but do not know how to take care of other people (or for themselves for that matter for they are preoccupied with trying to be the neurotic and deluded superior self).

What needs to be done is for me to learn to love my real self, not my ideal ego self that feels angry very easily and to care and love my ex-wife and children and all the people in my present relationships.

If there is such a thing as sin it is to not love people; I regret not loving those around me.

QUITTING JOBS TO MAINTAIN THE NEUROTIC IDEAL SELF

I used to quit jobs for ego reasons without bothering about the job, or taking care of my students and clients' needs; all that mattered to me was that my neurotically proud ego was offended and I was out of there to go rehabilitate my ego. This is immaturity and self-centeredness. The boss did something that made me (my grandiose ego, that is) feel hurt and I said to him, fuck you and your god damned job; I am out of here. Nobody fucked with Ozodi.

When my pride was hurt I felt humiliated and left my work place.  Preserving my ego pride was more important to me than actually doing the job.

In graduate school I felt that most of the professors were racists and avoided them, I did not talk to them unless I had to.  I avoided them to protect my ego pride.

Before a mature person quits a job he thinks about his family's material needs and makes sure that his students and clients are not abandoned in midstream. A mature person puts the interest of his significant others above his pride.

FEAR AND ANGER SHOWS LACK OF LOVE

If you have a tendency to fear, anxiety and anger it means that you do not have love in your mind for your real self and for other people. Fear and anger are the result of the absence of love and caring for one's real self and for other people's real selves, those one is fearful of and or angry at.

Anger and fear shows that one is self-centered and proud hence neurotic and unloving towards ones real self, other people's real selves; what matters to one is preserving the false ideal, superior and powerful self.

A proud neurotic does not take good care of his self and other people's needs; in relationships he wants his spouse to care for him but not him to care for her; indeed, he was probably married by the spouse and did not marry her (by courting and caring for her).

He wants other people to take the initiative to approach him for relationships but not him to them because he does not want his fragile big ego to be rejected should he approach people for relationship; he wants to retain his imaginary big ego.

He now must let go of that big ego and have no big ego and pride and simply loves his self and all people.

WHERE THERE IS LOVE THERE IS NO PRIDE, FEAR AND ANGER

Where there is love for one's real self and other peoples real self (where there is joining between people) there is no ego pride, fear and anger.

Where there is no love (union with all people) there may additionally be depression, paranoia, mania, schizophrenia and other mental illnesses.  Where there is mental disorder there is absence of love.

All mental disorders and emotional upsets exist where there is no love. It follows that love, the ability to join with people and form union with people and where people care for one another there is no mental illness.

This is probably not how they taught you to define mental disorders, as emanating from the inability to love you and people.

I am teaching you what really causes mental disorders, lack of love, not the rubbish they teach you at ego schools.

Where there is mental disorder invariably the person is more invested in positing a big ego self and protecting that imaginary big self.

This is how my psychological mentor, Alfred Adler, defined neurosis (emotional disorders) and psychosis (mental disorders); he said that the emotionally and mentally ill is invested in trying to become an imaginary superior self; he sees the healing of all neurosis and psychosis as inhering in cessation of the pursuit of the superior self and return to working for our mutual social interests.

LOVE IS WHAT HEALS ALL EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL DISORDERS

To heal all emotional disorders (fear, anxiety and anger) and mental disorders (paranoia, depression, mania, schizophrenia) you must love you and love all people.

Since love lies in return to God, to cure emotional and mental disorders one must return to God; return to God is return to love, return to union with all people.

To be mentally healthy one must stop running away from love, from union with God and all people. One must give up separation from God and all his creation if one wants to be mentally healthy.

All mental illnesses are caused by desire to separate from God and people so as to go invent a false, grandiose self-concept and self-image and protect it with the various ego defense mechanisms.

Show me an unloving person and I will show you a person prone to fear, anxiety, anger, depression (and in more serious cases a person prone to paranoia, mania and schizophrenia).

The cure for all emotional (fear, anxiety, anger) and mental disorders (depression, paranoia, mania and schizophrenia) is to embrace love for one's real self and love for all people and love for God.

Love for people means giving up the desire for the self-invented ideal, superior ego self (which we made to replace our real selves, the equal and same sons of God); love means retuning to being as God created one: loving and unified with God and all his creations.

DISCUSSION

In eternity we were (and still are) unified. We decided to experience the opposite of union, which is separation and separated.

We invented matter, space and time and now seem to live in them; in them we seem separated from each other.

Body is a means of separation. In bodies each of us seems apart from other persons. Space is a means of separation. Now there is space between us. Time is a means of separation, for it now takes time for each of us to reach others.

Matter, space and time are illusions that seem to exist in a dream state but in truth do not exist; only union is real.

Illusions or not, we are in that world. On earth we are in bodies; the body each of us inherited plays a critical role in his construction of his self-concept, his sense of self apart from other selves, his ego.

Those who inherited healthy bodies tend to have smooth egos; those like me who inherited problematic bodies tend to have troublesome egos.

Either way, the ego, the self-concept, the self-image, the human personality is a means of separating one son of God from others.

Some people seek more conscious sense of separation whereas others are not even conscious that they seek separation.

I am one of those who due to the exigencies of his problematic body sought a big ego; this means that I sought inordinate separation from people and from God. I affirmed the ego false self and defended it.

Each person did the same thing for that is what the world is for: the world exists for the unified sons of God to come to it and in it seem separated from each other and defend their seeming separated selves.

Now that we have accomplished the task of separation, the opposite of union, which is the opposite of love, we know how painful it is to be separated from God and from each other. We must now learn to return to union with each other.

We return to unified state by using the bodies we made to separate us to reach one another.  In time we use the egos we made to separate us to love one another.

We accept that though we seem separated that we are one. We are one unified self and unified mind.

When one accepts this reality and lives it one is saved; one lives in peace and joy.  On earth, when such a person dies he no longer returns to our world of dense forms but stays in other levels of being.

There are many levels of being (some say eight, see how Ra, in "The law of one", described the various levels).  In my categories one stays in the world of light forms.

There are three levels in the world of light forms; there are four levels in our world of dense forms and one formless world, aka heaven.

While in the world of light forms, aka heaven's gate, one helps those who are still in the world of dense forms.

All of us must help all of us to see that we are not egos in bodies and that we are love and love one another. When we all love we all reach the world of light forms.

From there we lose all desire to have separated selves, in dense or light forms, and disappear into unified state (aka heaven).

In heaven we live as one self and one mind; we rest in the perfect peace provided by the unified state of heaven until we feel the urge to separate from each other, again; when we do so another universe comes into being.

We shatter union into fragments; each fragment is housed in body of flesh and seems separated and live in space and time.

In the universe of matter, space and time we begin afresh the struggle to remember our non-material unified self.

When each of us remembers that he is unified with all of us he is saved. Thereafter, while staying in the world of forms he works to help those still in the world of dense forms (on earth); he does whatever he could to enable them remember union and when they do they join him in the world of light forms.

When all human beings are at the world of light forms we return to unified state and in it rest and then experience the urge to leave and go invent other dream universes.  We have been doing this sort of thing eternally, for we are eternal.

I have learned that separation is an illusion; I am on my way back to unified state; upon death on earth I will not return to earth but will stay at the world of light forms, the gate of heaven. While there I join the teachers of union, teachers of love, and teachers of God in teaching those who still cherish separation that separation is an illusion and ask them to unify with one another, love one another and join us at heaven's gate.

CONCLUSION

I deliberately chose to personalize this essay; I did so to show that the absence of love for my real self and people is responsible for my tendency to fear, anxiety and anger (what in psychology is called emotional disorders; what psychoanalysts call neurosis).  My observations from treating the mentally ill (depressed persons, deluded persons, manic persons and schizophrenics) showed me that despite their seeming different symptoms what is really at work in them is the absence of love in their minds.

I am not here to delineate the symptoms of mental disorders; I have done that elsewhere. I am here to point out what mental health professionals do not point out, the fact that despite the differing symptoms of mental disorders that what is really at work is lack of love in the mentally ill.

This lack of love for the self and other selves in the mentally ill can be traced to biological and sociological issues in the here and now world. But its real root is our separation from God.

God is love; to be on earth we separated from God; that is, we separated from love. On earth we live separated lives; that is, we live outside love.

Our ego selves are replacement selves we invented to avoid loving each other and loving God. We all posit egos of differing strengths and pursue them and in the process do not love our real selves.

Our real selves are the children of God and since God is love we are the children of love.   We are healed of our emotional and mental disorders when we return to love, to loving our real selves and loving each other and loving God.

We are healed of our emotional, mental and medical disorders when we return to God, which means return to love.

Building on self-observation I came to the realization that my tendency to anger (all you have to do is do what I perceived as denigrating my big ego self and I would verbally go to war with you) is a result of lack of love for my real self and for other people's real selves.  I concluded that more serious issues such as the various mental disorders are also due to lack of love for the mentally ill persons real selves and for other people and for God.

The absence of love is the cause of all emotional and mental and physical disorders.

If my thesis is correct, and it is correct, it follows as day to night that the cure for emotional and mental disorders is return to love.

Love you, love those around you and love God and you would be emotionally and mentally stable, happy and peaceful.

I am an Igbo African. I can honestly tell you that most Igbos and Africans that I have seen in my entire life are egotistical; they pursue becoming big egos. In the process they are competitive and want to succeed and often do so at the expense of other persons.

I have not with my physical eyes seen a loving Igbo, Nigerian and African person. Because they are not a loving people they found it easy to sell their people to Arabs and White folks. At present, instead of working for their peoples good they steal from them; with the money they stole from governments they masquerade around as very important egos.

How come these people do not love persons? It is because of their separation from their real selves, and from God.  God created them and all of us as loving and unified with him and all people but to be on earth they separated from him, from love.

What would heal Africans and all human beings of their emotional, mental and medical disorders is for them to give up their prideful and arrogant egos and become humble, loving persons.

Ozodi Thomas Osuji

April 22, 2017

www.centerformindscience.org

Read 215 times
Ozodi Osuji Ph.D

Ozodi Thomas Osuji is from Imo State, Nigeria. He obtained his PhD from UCLA. He taught at a couple of Universities and decided to go back to school and study psychology. Thereafter, he worked in the mental health field and was the Executive Director of two mental health agencies. He subsequently left the mental health environment with the goal of being less influenced by others perspectives, so as to be able to think for himself and synthesize Western, Asian and African perspectives on phenomena. Dr Osuji’s goal is to provide us with a unique perspective, one that is not strictly Western or African but a synthesis of both. Dr Osuji teaches, writes and consults on leadership, management, politics, psychology and religions. Dr Osuji is married and has three children; he lives at Anchorage, Alaska, USA.

He can be reached at: ozodiosuji@gmail.com (907) 310-8176