Wednesday, 02 August 2017 21:34

The Cost of Womanizing to Nation-building in Nigeria

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“As a man thinks, so is he.  As he continues to think, so he remains.” – Napoleon Hill

I recently saw a video encouraging wives to be grateful to side chicks because the latter save them from the onerous task of servicing their husbands after a long day of full-time work and household chores.  While one can appreciate the proposal to outsource this ‘chore,’ such an attitude smacks of a general complacency and acceptance of the nationally-crippling habit of womanizing.  Defined here as the attitude of engaging in numerous casual sexual affairs with women, womanizing is the constant pursuit of sex evident in the male of the species. 

So, you say, “some men are just like that; it’s their personal preference.”  Unfortunately, this is one of those situations when the personal is political.  And this personal behavior is costing Nigeria billions in political, economic, and social currency.  Here go, womanizing promotes:

  1. Lack of vision/focus:  Nation-building takes full concentration as does womanizing thus, no individual can do both.  This is the same reason why you don’t find doctoral students or men hustling to make a living, womanizing.  There’s only so much time, energy, and focus a man can devote to any task.  Add to this fact that men are notoriously bad at multi-tasking...  Thus, when a senator is focused on skirt-chasing, he is not making laws that will improve the nation nor is he preserving the laws already in the books.  Instead, he’s focused on perfecting his lip-sucking strategy (see Senator kissing woman viral video).
  2. Brain drain: A day spent ogling ladies’ behinds, is a wasted day.  Imagine, if 90% of our leadership (yes, less than 10% of our lawmakers at all levels of government, are women), spend their days being led by their lesser heads…
  3. Incites greed and self-aggrandizement: It is only money that you did not earn through your sweat and blood that you fritter away on girlfriend fripperies.  If a man works hard for his money, he’ll think twice about spending it on an endless parade of women in his life.  Thus, womanizers steal to spend.  They are robbing the nation blind to feed their lust habits!
  4. Bequeaths a vagabondary to the next generation: Every parent knows that the instruction to “do as I say” has not impact.  Your child will do exactly as you do and worse.  This one point alone explains Nigeria’s downward spiral.  You stole N2, 000,000 in office in the 1980s, guess what your progeny is stealing today?  Likewise, you ‘carried’ five women in the 1990s, guess what your offspring is ‘carrying’ along with AIDS today?
  5. Catalyzes domestic violence: Experts say most marital problems arise from finances.  When the resources a man has, is divided amongst his family and many loves, there’s no way quarrels won’t arise (see Facebook story of man scammed into paying his children’s school fees by wife pretending to be a flavor).  Further, when called to the carpet on lust habits, the accused often turns violent, believing that getting rid of the wife would protect his interests.  Like any addict, womanizers use violence to protect their habits not their families.
  6. Exacerbates brain-drain: When the best brains are frustrated out of the country and the potentially-brilliant are too distracted by lust to focus on nation-building, we’re sunk.
  7. Pollutes the land:  The contagion has spread from the pew to the pulpit with no spot untarnished by decadent filth (reference the Apostle Suleiman scandal).  In cultures that allow the marriage of multiple wives, why the subterfuge of whore-mongering?
  8. Presents a bad image of the country: Reference former president, Sani Abacha dying in a prostitute’s bed. 
  9. Kills the work ethic: For womanizers, money becomes the main purpose of seeking a government position not service.  For example, Lamidi strives to become senator so he can embezzle enough money to become a ‘babe magnet’ notwithstanding the wives and children he already has at home.  After ‘serving’ five years as a senator, when we review what Lamidi has achieved, it does not amount to much.  He has not proposed any law, supported any bills, led any movement, nor created any revolution.  Indeed, he has not even alleviated the poverty of those that put him in office.
  10. Destroys the fabric of the nation: A ‘wakabout’ creates a home where his wife and children are insecure and distrustful because their provision is dependent on his flighty whims.  Further, when a man commits to chasing everything in skirt, not only does he abandon his familial responsibilities, he sees every female as a potential mate (see Nigerian Senate okays child marriage bill).  It is a downward spiral from family to community to nation.

Selah.

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Abi Adegboye Ph.D

Abi Adegboye began writing as a young girl growing in western Nigeria.  In a culture that reveres boys, she was born the second of three girls.  Certain she had to be her family's 'boy,' she climbed trees to harvest fruit, dressed chickens for dinner, caught mice, and whatever else required male-handling.  She also loved to read, write, and draw.  Her initial efforts yielded publications in local newspapers and newsletters.  However, she was advised to get a day job which turned out to be as a professor of political science.  This opened to her, a different avenue for publication in her areas of research including African women and development, women migrants, and the impact of public policy on women’s political economy.

On her 40th birthday, she rekindled her creative writing with the publication of Butterfly, a picture book and Reflections on Nigerian Christianity, a social commentary.  Since then, she’s co-authored Owanbe! Yoruba Celebrations of Life (2010), a cultural anthology and published Wanna B Prez? 10 Life Strategies from President Barack Obama’s Journey to the White House (2012), a YA motivational YA book, and Renike comes to America (2016), a novella.  

Abi writes multicultural fiction and nonfiction for children and young adults.  She shares her writing through speaking engagements, performances, storytelling, and classroom visits. 

For more information about Ms. Adegboye’s publications, or to connect with her, visit her

Website at www.abiadegboye.com

Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/abiadegboyeauthor

Blog at http://www.abiadegboye.com/blog

And Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/abiadegboye

 

 

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