Thursday, 07 December 2017 10:17

Observations on the ego and Igbos egos

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From Ozodi Osuji's book of aphorisms:

THE EGO IS A PERSON THAT YOU WANT TO BECOME BUT NOT WHO YOU ARE

If you pay attention you will notice that the ego is who you want to become but not who you already are.

The ego is a picture of a self that you want to become to be existentially important and socially accepted as an important person.

The ego is always a picture outside who you are that you are trying to become.

You constructed that ego picture; you did so with information from your experience and other people; the ego is who you believe represents who you ought to become.

As long as you seek to become the ego you will fear not becoming it. That is, if you desire the ego you will have anxiety.

You may also have depression and paranoia; in depression you feel that since you have not become the important ego that you want to become that you failed and is nothing and ought to die.

If you believe that to the extent that you become the important ego you are important then you are paranoid. Paranoia is Greek word for being a different you, not being your real self. The paranoid person posited a different self, a very important self that he wants to become, usually to compensate for a self that he believes is not good enough, an inferior feeling self, and at some point comes to believe that he is that important but false self and defends it and feels angry if other people do not treat him as if he is that person.

WHO IS YOUR REAL SELF?

Since there is an apparently another you who are trying to become the wished for ego you, the question is this: who is that other you that wants to become the ego?

How do you find out who that other you are? You find out by stopping any and all desires to become the ego.

Just give up trying to amount to a different self and be calm.  In calmness you begin to get an idea of who you are.

I do not need to tell you who that you is, for, sooner or later, you will find out who he is by yourself. Here is a hint.

The real you are eternal, permanent and changeless; it is part of unified spirit self; that real you separated from its whole self and are trying to live as a false ego self.

Just stop trying to become a false ego self, stop pretending that you are the desired ego self and you will begin to have a glimpse of your real self.

MARRYING A PERSON FROM OUTSIDE YOUR RACE MAY GIVE YOU PERMISSION NOT TO LOVE HER

There is no such thing as race; all human beings, black, white and oriental are the same. Nevertheless, in our extant world there is something called race; it is not real but to us it seems real.

Marrying a person who in our current conception of race is from a different race may give you permission not to love that person. If you do so you have made the worst mistake of your life.

You may try to rationalize your mistake by telling you that that person is an other, a person not like you and you do not have to love and care for her. If you do so, guess what? You will not love you. Why?

It is because the only way to love you is to love your spouse, children and all people.

If you see a person from a so-called different race as a mere sex object (there is nothing wrong with sex provided that it is conjoined with love and caring for the partner) and just want to have sex with her and you do so without loving her you have made the greatest mistake of your life.

Regardless of a person's race once you marry him or her you must love and care for him or her.  Love does not exist where you do not care for folks; love exists where you care for those around you. Love and caring is the same thing.

PURSUIT OF EGO IDEAL, AKA NEUROSIS IS LACK OF LOVE FOR YOU AND OTHER PEOPLE

If you are pursuing ego ideal you are neurotic. A neurotic is a normal person who does what normal persons do, try to become an ego but does it with total intensity. He rejects his real self, which he does not even know what it is, and tries to become somebody outside him, a picture he made that seems like the person he ought to become but is not who he is.

If you are pursuing ego ideal, is neurotic, you cannot love your real self; since it takes love of your real self to love other people's real self if you are pursuing ego ideal you cannot love other people's real selves. That is, the neurotic does not love his self and other selves.

Neurosis is lack of love for one and for other people; neurosis is pursuit of imaginary ideal selves and ideal standards of behavior.

IF YOU SEE A PERSON DEDICATED TO SEEKING ATTENTION FROM OTHER PEOPLE, SAY, FROM FACEBOOK THAT PERSON DOES NOT FEEL LOVED AND WHEN HE OR SHE IS LOVED WOULD STOP DOING SO

If you see a man or woman who is always at social media, say, Facebook, Yahoo internet groups, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter and other social media talking to other people, posting his or her picture for other people to admire that person is seeking attention from other people.

Who seeks attention? Certainly it is not a person who already has attention, for if you have something you do not seek it.

It is the person who feels that attention is lacking in his life that seeks it.  So, what would help that person?

Do not criticize what he is doing by calling him an attention seeker, but, instead, give him or her what he is looking for, attention.

Give the attention seeker focused attention.  What is real attention? Love. Love that person in an unconditionally positive manner.

You know what? When you love other persons you love you; actually you cannot love you unless you also love other persons! Why so?

It is because other persons and you constitute your whole self, your holy self, the son of God who is one with God.

To love your whole self hence know peace and happiness you must love you, love other people and love God.

IN IGBOS YOU FIND THE WORLD'S BEST AND WORST PERSONS!

If you look at the run of the mill Igbo what you see is a neurotic who feels inferior, posits a compensatory false superior self-image and is trying mightily to become that superior self. He works very hard to approximate the superior self. He tends to achieve a lot in life but pays a price with anxiety disorder, depression and paranoia.

This neurotic Igbo is out there comparing his self to other Nigerians and people in general and fancying his self-superior to them. He boasts about how Igbos are a superior people and generally feels superior to other people.

He puts other people down, falsely thinking that if he desecrates other people that that would exalt him. It is impossible to put folks down and feel up; to be exalted you must exalt all people; the moment you put a human being down you have put yourself down although you may not know it.

This type of Igbo is the Igbo that make most Nigerians hate Igbos for he irritates Nigerians with his neurotic false pride and verbally abusive behaviors.

At Nigerian Internet forums there are Nebu Adiele and Chukwuma Agwunobi representing this sick kind of Igbos; they are there, day in and day out, insulting Nigerians; they engage in Njakiri, putting Nigerians down and fancying that Nigerians would thereafter see them as the supermen they want to be seen as.

They are correctly seen as chronological adults with underdeveloped emotions; they are literally arrested at about age eight. They are children in chronological adult bodies. Folks pity them rather than respect them.

And yet they do not see that folks humor them; folks pretend to listen to them but laugh at them (or if they are the thoughtful types they wonder what happened to retard their emotional development).

A real human being loves and respects all human beings regardless of his ethnic affiliation.

If the only type of Igbo that you run into is the neurotic Igbo you would consider all Igbos idiots and want to put them in a house, dowse them with gasoline and burn them to death. You heard me correctly, if you run into verbally abusive Igbos you want to eliminate all Igbos from the surface of this world, for no one likes people who all they know how to do is insult their fellow human beings instead of trying to uplift their down trodden spirits.

The conditions of being a human being makes the typical person develop low self-esteem and if you are an adult you do your best to engender self confidence in him, not contribute to his already there low self-valuation.

If the Igbo is thoughtful he would do generalized thinking.  He knows that he wants to be important; common sense would tell him that other people also want to be important.

Since all human beings feel unimportant and want to be important they tend to have pride issues; if you put them down you have assaulted their pride.

If you assault people's pride they feel narcissistic rage and to assuage it may attack and even kill you. Thus, if you are a bit intelligent you tell you that it is not proper to put folks down for you might prick their pride and vanity and they react with anger and attack at you.

If you want to live on planet earth you simply have to respect all people. Apparently, the infantile Igbo type thinks that only he and his Igbos feel pride and feel offended when degraded. He degrades Hausas and Hausas feel angry and attack and kill Igbos and yet he does not learn from that sad experience and stop degrading Hausas and all people. These types of Igbos are truly daft, unintelligent folk.

If you stopped at seeing only neurotic Igbos you would be misled. There are Igbos who are as mature and loving as human beings can be.

There are Igbos who are respectful and will bend over backwards to help their neighbors in need rather than see their neighbors supposed poverty as opportunity to tell them that they are failure in life.

There are Igbos who are the best specimen of humanity. I run into these types of good Igbos in every profession that I encounter: medicine, law, engineering, teaching and so on. But they are usually few in number!

The point is that an ethnic group that contains some of the most odious human beings on planet earth, Igbos, also contains saintly persons!

This is the mystery of Igbos; many of them are bad but some of them are not only good but extra good.

I am Igbo; I exhibit the bad and good in Igbos! I try to be what I think that human beings are in nature, loving.

Ozodi Thomas Osuji

December 7, 2017

www.centerformindscience.org

 

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Ozodi Osuji Ph.D

Ozodi Thomas Osuji is from Imo State, Nigeria. He obtained his PhD from UCLA. He taught at a couple of Universities and decided to go back to school and study psychology. Thereafter, he worked in the mental health field and was the Executive Director of two mental health agencies. He subsequently left the mental health environment with the goal of being less influenced by others perspectives, so as to be able to think for himself and synthesize Western, Asian and African perspectives on phenomena. Dr Osuji’s goal is to provide us with a unique perspective, one that is not strictly Western or African but a synthesis of both. Dr Osuji teaches, writes and consults on leadership, management, politics, psychology and religions. Dr Osuji is married and has three children; he lives at Anchorage, Alaska, USA.

He can be reached at: ozodiosuji@gmail.com (907) 310-8176