Lifestyle

Saturday, 07 October 2017 15:50

Where Do Men Go To Find Their Women/Wives?

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 The Good Book says "whoever finds a good wife finds a good thing" Women are losing good men in large numbers as you can see Men are finding good women in unlikely places Ask yourself: where do happily married men go to find partners? They don't go to beer parlors, houses of prostitution, nor crack joints Which types of women are men attracted to nowadays? Men seek the worshipping type you find in unsuspecting places Why worshipping types and unsuspecting places? Men want to stay alive and away from stressed and early graves Men seek the adoring, loving, revering, adulating…
Monday, 17 April 2017 12:56

Africa May Benefit From Homosexuality

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There is no evidence that the Obama administration homosexualized Africa. It appears that indeed homosexuality may benefit Africa. And before you throw your hands up in the air and dismiss this writer as a gay man or accuse former US President Obama of introducing gay virus into Africa, wait. Read on! Africans have many lessons to learn before the close of the second half of the 21st Century, The most important lesson is to fast forward knowledge of science and technology. The next is to try effective population control mechanisms. Overpopulation is a serious problem many African nations can no…
After all is said and done, more is said than done - Aesop. It all started with this piece of social media flotsam – A young lady had her dad’s picture as a screensaver on her cell phone. One of her friends saw it and asked, “So you too know this yẹ̀yẹ́ man?” Thanks to Nollywood, the term, “yẹ̀yẹ́ man” has entered pan-African lexicon. It describes a shyster, ne’er do well, a layabout, a consumate liar. A major characteristic of such a person is that they talk a good game but deliver zilch. Rather, they build castles in the air.…
Thursday, 16 February 2017 00:11

If you want to marry a husband...

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“If you want to marry a husband, never you marry a waka about. If you marry a waka about o, tomorrow, trouble, trouble, trouble…” goes Nelly Uchendu’s 1970s highlife classic, “Waka About.” The song tells the story of a sweet sixteen seduced by an older man whom she met at a superstore. He was ‘all correct’ – fine looks, fine clothes, fine car. Against her parents’ advice, she married him in a flamboyant society wedding. Post-marriage, she found out he was a womanizer, fraudster, and abuser who regularly used her as a punching bag. Unfortunately, the story ends with her…
Thursday, 16 February 2017 00:08

Ìfẹ́: Loving, the Yoruba Way

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Love in Yoruba culture is playful on one hand and serious on the other. Love consists of afẹ́rí and ojúṣe. Afẹ́rí, the closest form to romance, includes use of praise names, endearment, and ìtage or oge. Lovers often engage in playful banter called "oge" whereas they tease and cajole one another. Oge can be used to coax an angry partner out of a bad mood or bribe one into making concessions. It might go thus: "O dẹ̀ wa n'bínú. Áh, ah! Kí ló dẹ̀ lé to yẹn?" goes the husband nudging his wife's playfully. "Fi mí 'lẹ̀ jọ̀ ọ́. Má…
Thursday, 05 January 2017 07:12

Picking Money off the Streets

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“You’re so lucky to be heading to Yankee,” Bisi continued. “Everything is abundant there; light, water, food, money, everything! You will be picking money from the ground!” (Excerpted from Renike comes to America) The myth that people pick money off the streets in the US is pervasive for many reasons. For one, work is readily available and those who apply themselves to industry, get paid. Once they get paid, they send money ‘home.’ In fact, migrants remit more money than some of their countries receive in development aid. There are two sides to the remittance story however; one good, the…
On Monday morning, eight of your friends have forwarded the same message to you on WhatsApp. It ends thus: “Please don’t break this chain. Send to at least 7 of your friends. If you break it, you will not receive the good news you’ve been waiting for.” Besides the fact that it lacks originality, you find the message offensive for several reasons: 1. It’s coercive in demanding you forward the crap to other unsuspecting friends in order to ruin their Monday; 2. It contains a veiled threat of mayhem should you fail to comply; and 3. It clogs up your…
Friday, 12 August 2016 03:05

Nigerian Jokes To Make You Chuckle

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1. When the Lord took a rib from Adam, what did he do with it? Eve: He gave it to me. Adam: He gave it to you? Haha! Eve: What do you mean by Haha? Adam: If He gave it to you, why do you cause all the trouble in this marriage? Eve: Dear Adam, men like you cannot keep your sex organs completely zipped up; you fill this earth with your troublesome babies; and that gives we women pains in the ribs. Adam: Gives you pains in the ribs? How is that so, my Dear? Eve: Well, we carry…
Friday, 05 August 2016 04:45

Embracing Accountability

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I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting last Friday; my very first and quite an eye-opener. My friend and I arrived at the midtown location at about 7:15pm. On the lawn of Ray’s home, about 50 people milled around talking, hugging, or lounging in lawn chairs, benches, and other surfaces. Several cars lined both sides of the street and about a dozen motorbikes were parked curbside. At the other end of the lawn, refreshment tables were laden with liter bottles of root beer, pints of vanilla ice cream, and coffee. As we made our way to the refreshment tables, my…
Wednesday, 27 July 2016 03:26

Discover your Passion

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“You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it” - Oprah Oprah says she knew her purpose as soon as she could speak - she loved to talk! As a child, she recited bible verses at her grandmother’s church and spoke up at school. She was poised, articulate, and bold. She discovered her passion for public speaking early; it was as an extension of her personality. From an early age, Oprah captivated audiences at church, in class, and on the literary stage. Where most people have a mortal…
The purpose of this essay is to drive the point home that raising Nigerian children in America is almost an impossibility. This essay is about real people in real situations but whose real identities have been camouflaged to protect them. Frankly, I wouldn't wish the problem of raising Nigerian children in America on my worst enemy because doing so the way things are is akin to going on a long journey "through the valley of the shadow of death" It is hell! First and foremost, the laws of the United States are not only stacked up against you the parent,…
According to recent reports. a group of secondary school students in Forms 1 and 2 were caught having group sex in Kenya. They were 5 boys and one girl. Their ages ranged from 15 to 17 years. They were caught in a room they had rented in the Kipkorgot Estate in the outskirts of Eldoret, Kenya for the purpose of having orgies. The students came from different schools in Nandi, Uasin, Gisha, Elgeyo Marakwet County areas. https://www.naij.com/829062-six-secondary-school-students-caught-room-will-shock-photo.html?source=notification The boys and girl were caught red handed in the very act. What did the authorities do after experiencing the initial tsunami-like astonishment?…
Rape is not always a forced entry, and it is not usually the unlawful intercourse or sexual penetration of the vagina without consent. Rape, sometimes called sexual assault, can happen to both men and women of any age, but it is most common when victims are girls. This essay focuses principally on sexual exploitation of under-age Nigerian girls below the age where one is legally able to give consent that is informed, meaningful, independent , and considered. In America and some Western countries, a rape is statutory when the act is committed on girls below the age of majority, usually…
Thursday, 14 April 2016 13:51

Things Men Wish Women Knew

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This is written to all women, wives and girl friends in the lives of my friends wherever they are. Ladies, thank you for reading my stuffs. Please drop everything and get to know your man. There are things your men wish you knew Men like to talk, and they sometimes talk of things that are utterly uninteresting to women. Listen as he talks. Encourage him to talk and steer him to interesting conversations that make you feel a wide range of emotions, such as shoes, clothes, make-ups, entertainment, travel, and music. You want to feel hope and heightened aspirations. You…
“Is someone paying her to do this?” they ask. “Is this his father’s house?” they question. “Why is she taking this so seriously?” they wonder. “Why can’t he take a chill pill?” They gripe, murmur, and complain, the mediocre majority. Picture this, a progress-minded person joins a community association. Looking around, he sees plenty of room for improvement. So he suggests, “Why don’t we correct the grammatical errors in our charter?” Or “Could we follow an agenda at our meeting so we can actually achieve the goals we set?” Immediately, the others pounce on him, “Who died and made you…
Sunday, 28 February 2016 22:35

How Do You Solve the Biafra Riddle?

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PART ONE Three Nigerian men met at the foot of Dutsen Lamba, a stony hill in the vicinity of Jos They came to discuss appropriate Muslim response to the recurrent Igbo problem, including Biafra and Nnamdi Kalu. After shaking each other's hands and washing their extremities with warm water from small kettles, they knelt down in a solemn moment of prayer, facing the intersection of 31degrees 47minures N by 35 degrees 13 minutes E. Time came for introductions. "I'm Ayo, Yoruba, from Ado Ekiti. I forgot to tell you I am Muslim," the first said. The second was a tall,…
Wednesday, 03 February 2016 04:05

Clear your cache

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During the testing of new software, every time the system did not work as expected, the developer chimed, “clear your cache.” If I clicked on a button which should open a new page and it did not, I’d hear, “clear your cache.” Now, it’s become a recurring phrase embedded in my mind. So I’d click on the settings button of Internet Explorer, scroll to Internet Options, and under General, select “Delete browsing history on exit” and click Delete. After IE notifies me that my browsing history is cleared, I’d run the test again. Many times, this resolved the problem. If…
Saturday, 23 January 2016 16:54

The Igbos and Kola Nut

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I watched them break the kola nuts It wqs tooby-tooby here and wolly-wolly there The Ndiigbo in a town the size of Uwani With Igbo Kwenu here and Igbo Kwenu there They swear Kedukwanu greetings at their fellows And then turn Osadebe music deafeningly high I ask the man in charge: “Are these men pregnant?” He gives a laugh and says “Yes indeed Just common Omenala to eat kola nuts and goat meat We drink Heinekens hard till crack of dawn The stomach you see takes years to grow And the dollar buying this drink comes from Naija” Men’s fronts…
Thursday, 21 January 2016 04:27

Create a 5-Year Plan

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“People with clear, written goals accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine” – Brian Tracy I asked a friend the other day, what her goals were for the next 5 years. She stayed quiet for a long time then began to hem and haw about plans that did not work out in the past. She was stuck in her current role of parent and provider though her son would graduate this summer. After half an hour of listening and murmuring the right sentiments, I despaired. Here was someone who had no…
Monday, 18 January 2016 01:27

Nigerian Jokes to Make You Think of Home

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A petition is underway to have the word Thief tattooed on the passports of Nigerian politicians who deposit over $1,000,000 in foreign banks. The female thieves would have Toto tattooed on their nipples. Some 750,000 Americans are homeless at this point; these include 500,000 Nigerian students. The rest are children fathered by Nigerians politicians. You can mix anything with water. A mixture of oil and water is more probable than a mixture of Naira and PDP. It’s worse when the mixture is APC + Naira Homosexuals are flocking to Nigeria in large numbers. The Central Bank of Nigeria is considering…
"Every day before 8:00am CST, someone, somewhere is doing what I said could not be done; with less time, money, and resources than I thought it would require; in a manner far better than I believed it could be accomplished. And at 9:00am, I’m still making excuses” “– Abi Adegboye On New Year’s Day, I thought, ‘what’s the best way to make my resolutions stick in 2016 better than in previous years?’ Two options immediately came to mind – 1. Don’t make any resolutions; and 2. Make one that can be quickly accomplished and thereby score cheap points. I chose…
Monday, 28 December 2015 20:36

Lessons Nigerians Can Learn from Biafra

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LESSONS NIGERIANS CAN LEARN FROM BIAFRA These are broad outlines. Get together with your group and discuss what each lesson teaches: Happy New Year. 1. That a man is dead does not mean the spirit is dead 2. Blood is life 3. Bia Furu (Come and See) 4. No Condition is Permanent 5. Ye are gods 6. A ram in the woods doesn't mean a billy goat 7. It's not over till it is over 8. Can take me out of Biafra, but can't take Biafra out of me 9. When there is nothing except the will that says "Hold…
Thursday, 17 December 2015 06:17

Tragedy of the Non-Reader

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“In a knowledge-driven world, reading is your conduit to power” – Abi Adegboye Uncle Laitan was a great guy – big heart, loud laugh, and all around fun. He died in his early 60s from diabetes. My parents, who visited him shortly before his demise recounted finding him propped up on a settee, a mug of freshly-squeezed oranges and a dish of fried plantains set before him. Similarly, another uncle slumped in a friend’s bathroom after being entertained with a bottle of Maltina. By now, you’ve guessed diabetes runs in my family. Both sides actually. Unfortunately, so does illiteracy or…
Thursday, 17 December 2015 05:59

Villagers at the Funeral

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“Domestic violence remains one of the most vicious wars that humanity has ever ignored” – Adewumi Oluwadiya On the front row, Pastors sit on the left and the immediate family on the right. Abimbola’s husband cuts a fine picture of bereavement in a somber Dolce & Gabbana 3-piece suit and dark sunglasses. Incidentally, Abimbola had bought him the suit on her last trip to Dubai. ‘That was the only good thing about her,’ Seun thinks magnanimously of his dead wife, ‘she had good taste.’ Every so often, he unfurls a handkerchief from his pocket to dab at his face without…
Friday, 04 December 2015 00:37

Climbing Trees and Women in Igbo Society

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Exactly one year ago, December 3, 2014, I reacted to a post on Facebook showing an Igbo woman with a climbing rope on a palm tree to tap palm wine. I took time to read largely the comments that followed the thread. I felt I should explore and particularly clarify the complex culture context around trees, tapping wine and women. It was important then as it is also now and in the future to understand why societies set rules of life engagements in relationship to occupational safety, protection, sex gender and roles. A reposting of that submission is made here…