Saturday, 29 September 2012 00:00

Rise of the Machines I

Written by 

I am a little crazy with my stuffs. Be it my phone, laptop, books or just about anything that I spend a lot of time with. I just feel too much connected to these things. May be that’s why I am very possessive about these things too, can’t share (smug). Sometimes, I really have to struggle to let things go, replacing a phone is a big process for me. Anyways, the jest is that I fall in love with my things. That’s what prompted me to think about things that my things would say if they could talk. I started with the laptop. What would your or my computer say? How would it react to the way people treat it? Here’s my take on top 10 things a naughty laptop would say if it could talk.
 
1)  Bloody hell, loser! Give me some time to get a hold of my memory when you start me up. What if your mom throws a book on you, as you get up in morning, and tell you to read page no. 315 quickly or she’ll reload you?
 2) You illiterate mechanic! REFRESH/F5 is not the ONLY solution to every problem; unload some things off my memory on a fine day.
3) Yeah! Great you 32 bit trash, again forgot the password, pressing keys harder won’t get it right.
 
4) What’s with this bloody ‘f’ letter word, you just keep adding stars god know where and why. F**K, *U*K, F***. So what? Does it show your decency? Either use FUCK or just forget it and look for some courage.
5) What did you say? Come again please? So your photo is not looking good and it must be a problem with my color levels in LCD? Dumbo human your photo isn’t good coz Your Face Is In It.
 
6) Please don’t take me out with you. Reason: I don’t want to be seen with a human of Pentium 1 level.
 
7) Oh so you are annoyed coz I used too much mbs on update? You just wait mate, this time I am gonna start on my own, open up the browsing history and highlight those websites when your parents are around.
8) Wow you are looking awesome today?  New hairstyle, sparkling face? Ever thought of picking up a tissue to clean me :/
 
9) Don’t you ever call me a box in front of your friends, will hang out on your result day or when your gf sends photos next time.
10) Ya so you type for hours on me, prepare documents, articles and god knows what. But you know what; I don’t have anyone else to talk to. I just love you buddy, here enjoy some cookies, it’s my treat. 
Read 2416 times
Ishan Mathur

I am a writer by profession and that's what I do for fun too. Working on my novel and have a little international blog too where I share my thoughts. Do visit it if you get time http://thescribblingguy.blogspot.in/

 

Good day and thanks for stopping by :)

Website: www.facebook.com/ishan.mathur.12345